Summing up.

I’m Very glad I have done this challenge. I have however become a little burnt out on it! Understandably so I guess. I can only ponder and think about myself so much….

So, I am going to finish/sum it up by completing the last 6 items tonight:

day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song
day 31- the best thing about being you

what do you think about your friends?

I am very very blessed with good friends. I truly enjoy the friendships I have made through the years. I can honestly say that I have never lost a friend. Sure we may not talk as much throughout the years, but if I do run into the friends I have made…no matter how long it has been….I still feel a friendship.

I think I have to rely on my friends a lot. Because I have no sisters…my friends have to become like family….like sisters to me, and I am forever grateful to any and all that have fulfilled that role!

why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

Well, I guess I felt I needed some soul searching. I have always said that blogging was the cheapest therapy I have provided myself! I also felt this was a tad different than most blog/email questionnaires. I think it will be fun to look back on this and see how things have changed.

I also felt like I was getting repetitive in my blog posts, and I wanted to switch things up a bit. Now I am feeling that this challenge is getting very repetitive and that I have probably fully and 100% convinced readers that I am crazy!

a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

(I was a bit embarrassed...This is the only picture of me from March 2010....Look Close to find me! We were at dinner in SLC with some friends!)



As for March 2011...there are NONE of me...how sad is that. So I had to back track to February when we were in St. George. Maybe now that I am trying so hard to lose weight and I am a happier person...I will want more pictures of me!




This one gets me a little emotional. I have changed immensely in the past year. For the better I am happy to report. 2010 was seriously the darkest year of my life. I won’t ever fully divulge the reasons why…but I am so glad it is over. I feel like I have turned a new leaf in life. If anything has changed, it is my attitude. Mainly towards myself. Sure I still struggle now and then with immense self-doubt and sadness. I am constantly trying harder to do better in all my roles in this life, and give myself some credit with the good that I am able to accomplish by just being me.

in this past month, what have you learned?

Well….the answer to this one is kind of a copy to the one above. Only that I think it took January and February to kind of get the hang of getting my life back in order in the right way. This March I have truly gotten the old “me” back, and I am so so happy and grateful.

your favorite song?

I don’t necessarily have a favorite. Too many favorites in fact. I am always deeply touched by good music. Today however I happened to be in the car listening to Sounds Of Sunday when this popped on the radio:

• I Stand All Amazed by Katherine Thompson

More Katherine Thompson music on iLike

I don’t know why…but it spoke volumes to me. I googled it and watched the video and loved it even more.

the best thing about being you?

I often have moments of absolute awe….I think about my life as if I were looking from the outside in. Here I am…a daughter from a good family. I was lucky enough to be born in the United States, in Utah, in the beautiful town of Vernal. I have loving parents, loving brothers, and great extended family. Not only that, but I was born into the Gospel. There are MILLIONS of people who have no idea what it feels like to be part of such a perfect organization…and I do-what a blessing. I lived a very full, active, memory filled childhood. I developed many talents in my youth. Some of them have stuck with me as I was lucky enough to marry the most kind and patient man who is perfect for me. He is so patient with me. He loves me no matter what. I have three of Heavenly Father’s choice spirits. I am not just saying that because they are mine….I know that they are special, it was promised to me in my patriarchal blessing. Now I have the grand opportunity to raise them and nurture their sweet spirits all I can. It is daunting at times to think of. I too often let Satan discourage me through sadness, my weaknesses, and many other things. If anything I have learned through this blog challenge-as cheesy as it might sound-…Is that I am one lucky girl. Truly lucky in every way.

March 25th- what I would find in your bag

I have just recently found a love for purses. After being out of the diaper bag stage for about 3 years now... Not just any purses....more expensive purses. Not extreme...always less than $100....but still, that is a lot of money. So I have to restrain myself. Thank goodness for Ross where you can get real name brand purses (last season's probably) for a fraction of the cost.

My current purse is a Yellow Kathy Van Zeeland purse with a cute lavender inside....I'm too lazy to take a picture, but trust me it is cute!

In it you will find:

-wallets (I have two, my family one and my personal one with my cleaning business money)
-lotion
-hand sanitizer
-purse hanger
-calculator
-chapstick
-a mirror
-extra pen or two
-cell phone

Just basic stuff.

Unfortunately I have had my eyes on a new beauty at Basin Sports. Problem....$130 :( I have $100 of bday money left...so if is still there when I save more it will be mine! OK...OK....let's face it. I won't end up getting it...but I can think about it still right?

March 24th- FaceBook

Warning...If you are a Facebook Addict (or You Tube or Twitter), this post WILL offend you! ….Don't say I didn't warn you.

So today, March 24th I am supposed to put my last 5 facebook status'. Well, you see I can't do that accurately. I have deleted most of them.

You see, I have this funny problem. I will be going through my day, and something very interesting or exciting will happen, and I will think “This would make a great Facebook Status” Then rarely I will post it....regret it 20 seconds later, and hurry and delete it!





This sums it up perfectly. When you cross You Tube, Twitter, and Facebook you get YOU TWIT FACE! (and no...I didn't come up with that on my own!)


Let me tell you my feelings on Facebook.

I think that social media is good for only a few things:

-Keeping up with friends, family, and people you care somewhat about.

-Seeing pictures of the above people

-Staying in the loop on important gossip ;)

-Remembering people's birthdays (I would be ungrateful if I didn't add this one...I had over 100 birthday wishes today...)

-Some people post important info on their profile like email, phone #, or address. It has come in handy for me a few times.

THAT's IT!

It is NOT for:

-Playing time consuming, pointless, mind numbing games

-Posting things that lead people to wonder, question, or worry about you without ever answering or telling why. For example: “My Life will never be the same....” That leads the reader to wonder... “Why won't your life be the same...what happened....do you have a disease...getting divorced....had a death.....??? SO annoying to me! Just tell people if you know they are going to ask :)

-Posting endless upon endless quotes or sayings that truly only mean something to you. (I will admit, there is rare occasion a good one will pop up.)

-It is not for hurtful, endless gossiping and tormenting amongst people, kids...teenagers...adults. It is just trouble in most cases. For that reason my kids will get accounts when they are 12...I will have their password, be their “friend” and they will only be allowed on our home computer which is in our kitchen in plain sight.

-I get sad/jealous reading about everyone who posts their exercise for the day. Some might find it motivating...but for me who doesn't have the time/motivation to pull off 100 laps of swimming, 10 mile bike rides, and a casual 3 hour run every day....it makes me feel pitiful and fat!

And last but not least:

-I Do NOT need to know EVERY SINGLE DAY: What you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. What errands you will be running. How you slept. How your kids slept. How many times you pooped and peed. How many times your kids pooped and peed. What you watched on TV and how you felt about it. A constant weather report. Etc.etc.etc.etc.etc. Seriously, everyone eats, sleeps, poops, pees, and gets dressed. Don't need a news flash on every event!

(With that said, I know that I have offended a few of my DO NOT's of Facebook...-I will admit it and not be a hypocrite about it!, but I promise to never again!)

And I am sorry if I offended...I love all my blog readers! Facebook Addicts or not!

March 23rd- something you crave for a lot

So this can be a good or bad thing. For food....usually my cravings aren't so good. You can crave other things in life....spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally...but for now I will stick with FOOD!

Right now is my absolute weakest time when it comes to junk food! I LOVE ALL EASTER CANDY. I don’t know if it is the beautiful pastel colors, or the cute little animal shapes, or what, but I love it all. Some of my favorites which I am craving are:







Unfortunately none of these items are in my possession right now :( Hence the extreme craving. I am trying so hard to lose weight and be good....

Right now I will settle for this extremely delicious and beautiful cake made for me by a great friend, Holly Olsen. The cake was a delightful fluffy lemon. Trust me, it was delicious!

March 22nd- what makes you different from everyone else

I had to giggle at this one. As if my 100 facts in my first post about me didn't set me apart with my weirdness!

I had to think pretty hard for some other facts...and only came up with 2 more.

1.I really really dislike perfume. It makes me have a headache and makes me nauseous. Sadly this goes for scented lotion too. I really like some scents...just not on my body :)

2.I can NOT stand to wear sunglasses. Seriously I have a defect. If I wear them I get incredibly dizzy...almost like car sick. The bright sun doesn't bother my eyes. Sadly all the new 3-D movies that require glasses are NOT for me! Plus if I have a no makeup day I can't hide behind dark glasses.

I think that the thing that makes me the most different is that none of my 102 weird facts bother me. I am not really worried what other people think about my weirdness! I am self conscious about some things, who isn't? Everyone has quirks I decided. Some more public, some private.

I am who I am, take it or leave it! :)

March 21- someone you love

I just love this little fairy. Here is a small list of the wonderful things she does for my sweet kids and their teeth. It in turn helps me out! ;)

-She gives them bright ideas to pull teeth extremely late at night. She must be a night owl. I think she prefers the hours 12-2 a.m. She knows that I really need my sleep.

-She loves to work on Sundays that naughty girl. She must know that I usually don't have cash. Most times I usually don't have change. That saves me a trip to 7-11 at midnight as to not break the sabbath to get $. What a nice fairy!

-She made the mistake of giving my kids a large sum of money....writing personal letters...and sprinkling the letters with glitter. Now my sweet children think that it is the best thing in the world to have a loose tooth, and would be devastated with anything less.

-She stirs butterflies in their tiny tummy's the night of losing the tooth. They have a very restless night and hard time falling/staying asleep. That is O.K. though since she is a night owl and enjoys watching them toss and turn.

-She saves me from falling down the stairs...and back up the stairs while trying to be sneaky. This is a good thing since I have creaky feet and cracking joints that would more than likely wake up a lightly sleeping child and dog. Good thing that fairy is light as a feather and spares me these things...especially late at night.

-Yep, I love that fairy.

March 19th- nicknames you have and why you have them, and the 20th- someone you love

I have funny thoughts when it comes to nicknames....I am super weird about it I guess. The only person I call by a “nickname” is G.J. Since his name is really George, by calling him G.J. I am using a nickname. I also call him Georgie :o)

I know that most people have nicknames or shortened versions of their names. I just feel incredibly stupid using them. I feel like they are for use by close family or very very close friends. I hear other people use the nicknames, and it is just fine. For me to use them just seems very strange. So I am very sorry if you have a nickname and I don't ever call you it :)

As for nicknames for me, I seriously never had a nickname growing up. As I look back, I don't think my family had nicknames at all, and I don't recall them using any for other people either, so maybe that is where my issues come in. I had a dance teacher and my first drill team coach that called me “Kand” it just sounded weird and awkward and I hated it. Don't even think about calling me “Kandy”-sorry, it just doesn't fit!

G.J. on the other hand, and his whole family is full of nicknames. G.J. has SO many nicknames for our kids, and a few for me. He is always coming up with new nicknames for our kids. He changes them so often that I usually don't know which kid he is referring to!

I am sort of embarrassed to say what he calls me most. He has even tried to teach Kayler to call me it since Kayler now refuses to call G.J. dad....he just calls him G.J., and I think it is hilarious.

My main nickname is......
Pooky bear.....
Hallie is usually Teeny Bean. Gavin's main name is Chacho. Poor Kayler gets stuck with Chubsy. See...my Georgie is creative!


So on to the ONE PERSON I LOVE.....
Hello, I love WAY more than one person-so that is a tough choice. So fitting with this being the first day of Spring, I am choosing that I LOVE:


Yes, I know this is not the best picture....she is just so quick most people can't get a good picture! ;)

MOTHER NATURE! Come on lady, bring on more of that sunshine!!!!

March 18th - plans/dreams/goals you have

Well lets see....this one may be sort of boring.

Plans-I am a very routine person. This is not saying that I don't love spur of the moment things that come up and take me off my routine....for a little bit at least ;0)

My plans for March are the same as I posted several days ago. Get the snow melted, lose more weight....that's about it.

As for today, my goal is to pay bills, do laundry, run a bazillion errands, go to dinner with G.J.'s parents, and enjoy Friday.

For tomorrow I would LOVE if the sun would shine and temps be above freezing so I can get to work on my yards. I also promised the kids a rec. center visit. I have stuff to do for church, and G.J. and I are planning on going to the temple.

My dream would to be debt free(all we have is our house...but still, what a relief would no mortgage be!?) I would then build our family a huge savings account and help anyone less fortunate.

I also dream (like literally---I dreamed last night) of going on nice warm tropical vacations all the time!

My goals are to be the best mom, wife, friend, family member, member of the church that I can. In that goal, I hope that I can be kind not only to those around me...but to myself. I decided I needed a little work on my self esteem.

I just can't believe that March is half way over already! After the long and dreadful winter I am truly loving any amount of warmth, rejoicing in the cute baby animals, green grass sprouting up, and planning for all sorts of outdoor fun with my family!

March 17th....Trade Lives???

March 17th asks... “Who would you want to trade lives with...and why?”

I thought good and hard about this. I immediately thought of great men and women...Leaders, famous people, etc.

But then I jumped right back into reality and decided that I would want to trade lives with each of my kids.

I would love to know what is going on in each of their little minds.

I would love to know their true likes, dislikes, desires, heartaches, etc.

They do not stay little forever. Right now they are very open with me for the most part, and I love that. I Hope that they can always look to me for a source of advice.

To celebrate St. Patty's day....I had to share a flashback picture yet again of my 3 cuties, St. Patrick's Day 2008:

March 16th, another picture....

Here is an oldie but one of my favorites:



I have lots of pictures to share from before I started blogging....

In this picture Hallie was almost 6, Gavin was 3.5, and Kayler was 3 months.... Now I have a 10.5 year old, 8 year old, and almost 5 year old!!!

I'm thankful I have them to bring back some memories!

March 15th...Music on Ipod Shuffle

Well here's the funny thing on this post. I don't have an ipod or music player device of any kind. Hallie has an ipod touch which I mostly use :)
Since it is technically "hers" the only music on there is a Kidz Bop album-pretty cheesy, but she loves it!

I do however have a current favorite song that I will share:



You can watch/listen...whatever. I love to sing this song to Hallie. Of course it is not in the same way as a boy singing it to his girlfriend...but I just take out the parts I want and sing it to her!

I just like this song...and his voice. I don't know much about him. He has some other good songs too.

Want to know the FUNNIEST part of this video????
Kayler can sing the chorus word for word. It is beyond precious. I need to capture it on video! I bet he would be the next YouTube sensation :)

March 13th...Letters to ??? + Family Picture

I think that handwritten letters are becoming a lost art. I don't think there is anything like getting a letter hand written just for you. I also love to send/give letters where I have put down my gratitude or love to make someone's day or express my thanks.

I do not have a letter to share today. I do have very special letters written to my kids. They are saved in my cedar chest. They are just too personal to share. I often write the kids and G.J. letters or little notes to let them know they are loved.

Now for the 14th I am supposed to share a family picture. I highly doubt I am alone in thinking that getting family pictures is torture. It truly is TORTURE. I hate most everything about it. I do however love the finished product!

So, here are a couple of my very favorite family pictures...They were taken almost 4 years ago.:

March 12th. and in other news....

Today's topic is “How did you learn about Blogging” Lame topic...
I had heard of bloggers for quite awhile. My friend Mandy started one up, and I thought I could do it too. So now I am on my 3rd year of blogging! I truly enjoy reading all my friends blogs. It really lifts my spirits some days.

And now for other news....Just because I am focusing on me every day doesn't mean that my day to day life isn't happening!

Here is a small recap of our past week:

Last Saturday we let the kids invite some friends to go swimming at the rec center. They had the huge blow up obstacle course in the water and they all LOVED it. I even made a fool of myself by doing it...flopping my chubby white body all over to make it through the course!





Saturday night G.J. and I went on a date! We have a record- 2 dates in 3 months :) We went to the movie "Unknown" It was GREAT...and for me, a person who doesn't love movies, that is saying something! The last time G.J. and I had been to the theater together to watch a NON kids movie was in 2008, how sad is that?!

Sunday was a draining day. I went to the church for meetings at 10:30, attended church, and didn't get home because of meetings until 5:30.....Plus it was Fast Sunday and I just CAN'T go that long without food.

Monday was a boring day of chores etc.

Tuesday was extremely busy. I had to work, go get groceries, set up our RS activity, go to diet class, and so on and so forth. I managed to shower, exercise, and help the kids with homework too. I was beyond pooped at the end of that day.

Wednesday was yet again cleaning day for someone else. I worked so hard that I didn't even go to my weekly Zumba class that I love so much.

Thursday was my day for cooking dinner. I also got a nice visit from Cindy Hancock. I just love her, and we are growing very close serving together in the Primary Presidency. She brought me this beautiful bouquet of flowers because she loves me so much....



Actually the flowers were from her moms funeral. Her mom was a very well known and loved woman. Cindy said her house looked like a botanical garden and her allergies were acting up so she was sharing ;)

Thursday afternoon I took Hallie and Gavin to their Book Fair and Ice Cream Social at school. Then I let them go to Kmart to pick some clothes off the clearance rack. It was so cute to see them choose their different things...they are definitely developing their own sense of style!

Friday was more chores. Hallie had piano. Gavin went to his friends house as usual. We took my my Grandpa out for dinner and that was that.

This morning (Saturday) I served myself the breakfast of champions in bed....a WHOLE box of Girl Scout cookies. They were delightful. I tried to avoid the little stands on almost every street corner it seemed...but I caved and got them. I didn't feel one bit guilty though. I have 1 box, 1 time a year...and I try to avoid all cookies the rest of the year!

I sent G.J. and Kayler off to G.J.'s work. Hallie and Gavin went to the big 4-H kickoff, and I went all by my lonesome self to the big Relief Society thing at Maeser Stake. It was very nice. After that my Dad called and invited me to lunch. G.J. and the kids were still busy for another 2 hours, so I jumped on that opportunity! It has been AGES since my dad and I were alone together on a little “date.” After lunch my dad said he needed to go to Basin Sports to look at some things. Before I knew it he had the salesman handing me a brand new pair of walking/running shoes to try on. I have wanted some...but the good ones are just so so expensive, and I just can't justify spending that much on myself. He wanted to buy me some good ones because he knows my feet hurt a lot from being on them all day with my cleaning jobs. I am so grateful for my dad and our relationship. Although we are both so busy, and times like today are few and far in between, I know I will always be Daddy's little girl, and it makes me feel special.

He helped me pick up my stuff from Bountiful Baskets, and then the rest of the day has been spent relaxing, doing a little yard clean up, playing outside in the nice weather. Just a nice Saturday!

I must not forget this picture that I snuck of our local "Spongebob" G.J. is seriously the best dad. He is just a big kid himself most days. It has been hilarious his past week Kayler has been calling him "G.J." instead of Dad or Daddy. He will ask me where G.J. is, tell me that he loves G.J., and when G.J. gets home Kayler invites his "G.J." to his room to play!



I hope everyone else has had a nice week too! I love you all :)

March 11th.

So....This is a long post...and not very positive...but I need help.

Today is supposed to be another picture of friends...but I posted most of mine earlier.

Instead...I need thoughts/advice on a little situation. It is something that has been tugging at my heart strings for quite some time.

Let's have a flash back picture of my sweet Hallie and her friend Taylor:



We are very sad Taylor moved away. Hallie had another cute friend named Riki...she moved away too. Those were some of her best times. She had so so much fun playing with them. Having a daughter is SO hard sometimes. It is like re-living my childhood. I try to spare her the pains that I had to go through, and produce situations that will make her very happy and have good memories. The older she gets I realize that is just not how things are supposed to work.

I ALWAYS had a best friend....seriously, always. From Kindergarten up on through high school I always had at least one, or two or three or more, friends that I talked to on the phone at all hours (before the day of cell phones and internet hehe) I was constantly at sleepovers, playing at others' houses, birthday parties, you name it, I was there. I was extremely social and involved in all I could. I give props to my mom for paying and driving me around to dance, gymnastics, clogging, ballet, sewing lessons, piano lessons, soccer, softball.....I was one busy girl and I loved it. I was able to multi task the activities with school and with friends. This is not saying that there weren't times when I got my feelings hurt really bad in some way or another. I wasn't spared fights and conflicts...especially as I got older and the hormones kicked in with the girls around me. Nonetheless, I was very blessed in the friend area...and I still am.

I think things are just different nowadays. I for one don't want Hallie going to sleepovers...that is where I learned lots of bad things! The other stuff though...talking on the phone, going to parties, going to play...and especially having a best friend. I want for her so bad it hurts.

You see, this is a little info on my Hallie. She is not your average girly girl. She never really liked dolls or really girly things. Sometimes I have lots of sadness that she doesn't like girly things like dancing and the stuff I liked. I realized and promised myself early on that I wouldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to. So when she was little I enrolled her in all sorts of girly dance things. As she got older she just didn't like it anymore-so it ended. She does like some girly things and definitely isn't a tomboy. Her passions include animals, art, playing outside, Nintendo, learning, and saving the planet...NO seriously, I have a little tree hugger on my hands! ;) Her teacher told me she is so funny...that she will always draw little murals on the chalk board with things like “Save the Whales” or something like that! Along with her passions, she is absolutely adorable-I've got a real beauty on my hands! She is sweet, kind hearted, and passionate about life. She is so polite and is a little shy and reserved at times, and sadly it becomes more so as the world gets worse and kids get meaner.

She has had several friends, but this year she has really grown close to a little girl in her class. I will leave her name out for privacy reasons, but Hallie really likes her. Problem is, this little girls mom is a WEIRDO....I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but seriously, she has some issues. I have spoken to her on the phone, and she admitted that she had munchausen by proxy ... Read about it here- http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/munchausen.html Talk about sad. They have 10 children I believe. The poor little girl is not allowed out of her house after school. Hallie has called her to play countless times and has finally given up. The little girl always says, “today is just not a good day” I offer to pick her up, drop her off....The mom dresses her girls as if they lived in the 80's-no joke. The big hair, huge bows, fluorescent....flowery vests-none of the cute 80's like fashions that are becoming popular again today. I am glad to say that Hallie has looked past that and she just loves being with her. The sweet little girl taught her how to crochet at recess. So that is what she does, and it makes her happy and that is all that matters. There is just not enough time at school to truly have fun and develop a close bond.

The 2 problems I have found as far as Hallie getting invited to do things (and other kids too) is:

1.Parents these days are just too busy...simple as that. It takes too much work for them to have other kids around, throw birthday parties etc.

2.We don't live in a huge neighborhood. Sure there are a few kids here...but not like a subdivision. Hallie has friends in neighborhoods that they just all gather outside playing at each others houses and it is just easier for parents. No driving or planning involved.

I'm sure there are other factors, but those are the two biggest ones.

I watched Hallie have her heart broken a few too many times by the neighborhood kids. Several weeks ago she begged to go sledding outside with them. I told her to get dressed in snow clothes and to have fun. I of course had to watch from the window. Hallie walked out there, went down the snow hill, looked so happy...and then every kid went home (actually to each other's houses) So there sat my Hallie on the hill alone...she just sat there and watched them walk away. When I was a kid I was forward enough that I would have just invited myself to wherever they were going. She is just not that way though. So she played a few minutes and then came in quietly and went in her room to read.

There have been several other instances...but last night at their school they had a book fair/ice cream social. We were in the gym and I had Hallie and Gavin standing by me. Two of Hallie's “friends” walked right by her. She waved at them and said, “hi guys!” They just looked at her and kept on walking out to the playground. I told her to go after them and play on the playground....but you could tell she just felt like a reject.

I thought of the heartaches I experienced by being left out or other situations. Man I thought it was bad then, but I tell you what, it is beyond heartbreaking to watch your kids experience it.

Hallie does have other friends...I am not painting her out to be a loner-or the smelly weird kid in class!. She has been invited places occasionally. We are constantly having kids over, going places, etc. The kids have a blast here. They play with her just fine. She has 2nd and 3rd cousins that she enjoys being with a lot. It is just the part of her never getting invited back that is so hard.

It wouldn't be as hard, but my Gavin has not 1, but 2 best friends. They seriously play every Friday. They are like 3 little musketeers. They both come from great families. I feel very very blessed that he has such close friends at such a young age. I hope he can stick with them through thick and thin as they grow older. So every Friday when Gavin goes and plays, Hallie asks every time if she can have a friend over. She calls around and most times nobody answers, calls us back, or takes the time to invite her. I have tried stepping in and watching at school or church which friends I know..or know their families. I have casually talked to the little girls' moms and we have planned things with good intentions...which usually fall apart.

I know that I can't choose my kids friends. I also can't make kids like them. You either have a connection with some people, or you don't...simple as that. I can't make other moms UN busy. I can't make other kids be nice. We aren't planning on moving to a new neighborhood with lots of kids and new friends anytime soon.

I can be grateful for my kids' friends from the past, present, and future. I will be grateful for everything they have experienced for the good and the fun things that are yet to come, whether in my home or somewhere else. I am so grateful for good family and good grandparents for my kids that provide lots of fun opportunities. I can also pray that they will choose good friends from good families that will influence them in a positive way in this very very scary world.

Their friends are going to be very important through the teenage years and beyond. I guess that is why I feel so bad for my Hallie. She will be in middle school in less than 2 years. The thought of that seriously makes me sick. I want someone for her to be with. I guess that means as her mom I need to develop the closest relationship that I can with her...and always let her know that she is loved. I have been trying to do lots of special alone time and having her along on girls nights...I also have been trying hard to be enthusiastic about the things and hobbies she loves. Just because she isn't like I was doesn't mean I can't relate to her.

So....any advice? Anyone??? I just don't know what more I can do!

My Music for My Soul...March 10th!

Choosing the music that I love is a hard one. Not because I don't like music...but because I love most music, and love to listen and sing along once I learn the words of course!

I could not narrow it down to song or genre for my different emotions. So you my bloggy friends are lucking out. I am sharing my ultra long playlist for all to enjoy.....It is a very mixed list. Some are my favorites, some I just like!:

I rarely drive around to have radio time in the car...and if I do I usually have my kids which means that they are listening to their movie...so no radio for me. I am lucky to have my computer in my kitchen...which is kind of in the center of my house. Lately if not listening to my playlist, I have 3 favorites that I turn on and I will share!:

For Talks, and Uplifting Music:


http://radio.lds.org/eng/

All LDS Music....all different styles!:

http://www.yldsr.com/

And JUST FOR SUNDAYS! I like to listen to Sounds Of Sunday. We crank it up first thing in the morning to set the tone for Sunday!:


http://channelx94.com/

A Day to Be Proud, March 9th

Before I begin this topic of “Something I am proud of in the past few days....”

Let me self analyze for a moment! I told you this little blog challenge was turning out to be a huge psychiatric session with myself!

When I think of Pride....it doesn't always bring about the most positive emotions. I tried so so so hard in my youth and even now to do things perfect...and tend to be an over achiever. It is not that I have the need to impress people...that is actually far from the truth. I do however want myself to be pleased and happy with my accomplishments.

I have a great mom, she would do anything for me. She is very giving and has lots of great qualities However, shes not the best with words or affection to me. I was never the girl getting flowers after dance performances. She doesn't hug a lot...and doesn't spout off “I love you” for no reason. I never heard the words “I'm proud of you” out of her lips. Even after graduation with straight A's as Valedictorian, after becoming a mother, and a pretty decent adult....I have never heard those words....and I will admit, it hurts, and in some sick way makes me feel like I am a failure at all I do.

I did have TONS of people/admirer's from afar saying kind words...but for some reason since my mom didn't-I felt I was not anything to be proud of. I was looking back on my adult life, and most everything I do good is from lessons I learned from her. Whether it is homemaking skills, mothering skills, how to effectively serve in callings, organize things, be dependable......etc.etc. I owe a LOT to her.

Sometimes pride can be a bad thing, which I believe is being “prideful”. Nobody likes a boaster. So I try not to boast...but I tend more often to be a Debbie Downer of sorts too....such a fine line! So as a mom I make sure that my kids know that I am PROUD of them for all of their good choices, accomplishments, and their joys in life. I make sure to hug them tight and sincerely tell them how truly much I love them, and how proud I am, however big or small event...they know they are loved and that I am pleased with their efforts!

So, I guess my most recent “proud” moment was for myself...and I owe lots of the credit to my mom for teaching me to be dependable, organized, and somewhat creative:

Last Night I was able to oversee our yearly Relief Society Birthday Party Dinner. I think it pulled together quite nicely. I did have a lot of help, which I appreciate. I guess watching my mom as a wedding planner all my younger years really taught me a lot to be very prepared and organized when planning big events!

March 8th..and my goals!

Hmm...
Short Term Goals?

Well lets see?

1.Physically I would like to continue losing weight. 12 lbs down...and like 20 more to go. Eating right and exercising is really the only way to do this, so I hope I can stick to it!

2.Mentally I would like to make my mind to learn to be a lot more patient, especially with myself.

3.Spiritually...I am always needing reminders of the blessings that come through the gospel. So my goal is to strive to live in such a way that the spirit can be my constant companion, and that I can gain strength from it. That way I can do better as a mother, wife, and member of the church serving in my calling.

Along with those goals....I have a goal for all the snow to melt before the month is over! Think it will happen?

Also, I am being a rebel this year by *gasp* NOT spring cleaning!!! I did it really good last year. I am just too worn out from keeping up with the simple tasks around here. Pair that with cleaning for 5 different people through the month and I am just all cleaned out!

The Biggest Impact, March 7th...

Today's blog is about someone or something that has had the biggest impact on me.

I tossed back and forth between certain people, things, or ideas...but I decided to settle on someone who did and always will impact me greatly...my sweet Grandma Bowthorpe.

My Grandma and I had a very very special bond. I was the youngest grandchild. That meant that I got to spend a lot more one on one time with her while all the other grandkids were at school! ;)

She taught me more about life than I think anyone has. She represented the best things about the gospel. She was faithful in scripture study, temple attendance, and genealogy. She taught me about true never ending love and sacrifice through her example as a mother and grandmother.

I truly can not explain what it means to me that my kids all got to meet her.:



What's even better is that they remember her...and each have their own memories. Even Kayler still talks about her.

Because of my love for her, and my absolute knowledge that she is in heaven, she impacts me every day to try to be a better person. I know that if I can live half as righteously as she has that I will be able to see her again.

I miss her extremely bad...so bad that it physically hurts me sometimes. It is her birthday on the 21st of this month. Next month marks the 2 year anniversary of her death.

I hope that I can make her proud by the choices I make and the way I live my life.

March 6th...

There is a few reasons I procrastinated doing this post about my 5 favorite TV shows.

First off...Sunday's are a tad hectic for my family.

Next off, I don't care for TV much. Sure, there are things I prefer or look forward to watching....but most of the time I never get the chance to watch it.
We don't have DVR of any kind, so I can't catch up later either.

Usually by the time I help get the house picked up, kids homework done, baths, errands, etc, etc, etc.....the show is over :(

I also have a tad bit of ADD-surprising I know ;) I can sit and watch something that really interests me...but if it isn't that interesting I find myself wandering in mind to far off places and my body wanders off to attend to more important tasks-which usually is my kids or my house....and more recently-exercising.

Speaking of exercising, that has improved my TV watching since my treadmill is in my room in front of my TV. I tell myself that I can't get off until the show is over~!

So my favorites are:

1.The News. Preferably Channel 2 news-KUTV. I like knowing what is going on in the world. My favorite part is the weather though.

2.Anything medically related....Grey's Anatomy-if it isn't too raunchy, or anything on Discovery Health or TLC related to Health.

3.The Biggest Loser. Although I must confess...while it is inspiring to me to see their journeys of weight loss- I look at them and think, “well, I guess I am a little bit smaller than them, so I will enjoy me a nice HUGE bowl of cereal” Yep, done that a few too many times! ;)

4.Anything related to babies/birth. Most of these are also on Discovery Health or TLC. I just find it a very special and interesting experience to watch. Although sometimes it makes me sad that I can't have any more babies.

5.And finally...anything that is good quality and that makes my kids and G.J. happy. Whether it be cartoons, Animal Planet...or their latest favorite, The Food Network. (This does however UN-include G.J.'s favorite...sports-I would rather poke my eyes out than watch sports)

So there ya have it!

March 5th...where have I been?

I wish I could say I have been more places in my life. Up until our trip to the Autism Treatment Center in Massachusetts in 2009, and my cruise last November the furthest East I had been was South Dakota...it is not even really East from here, but you get the picture! The furthest west I had been was Hawaii. The furthest South was the grand Tijuana Mexico-yuck...And the furthest North was Washington.

I had been to every Western State and quite enjoyed myself.

I never really felt my travels were all that lame until my brother and parents started traveling the world. I think between them they have visited most continents and countless countries. The only place not visited was Antarctica.
While happy for them-and I got to see the world through their pictures and experiences...it was hard being the one stuck at home.

So, I was very happy to venture out last year and go further east and south as we entered Florida, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel.

This pictures is from our favorite Starfish Island on Grand Cayman....Kayler escaped out family picture to play with his "patrick":

March 4th.

Oh man... Day 4 already!

I am supposed to blog about my worst habit that I wish I didn't have. As I started thinking about it....I had a few minutes of deep soul searching to figure it out. See, this blog challenge is turning out to be a good thing! I get to be my own Psychologist/Psychiatrist!

I thought about how I chew my nails, pick on zits, am lazy with my appearance, my lack of affection towards my sweet husband, my lack of patience with my sweet kids, my unrealistic OCD tendencies when it comes to cleanliness of my house.....oh man the list could go on and on.

SOOOO......after being so hard on my self and thinking of all the horrible things I wish I didn't do....I realized the my worst habit that I wish I didn't have is.....:

I am WAY to hard on myself.

Nuff said...

March 3rd, Friends

March 3rd is about friends.

I am very very blessed to have lots of great friends. Some are merely friendly acquaintances with whom I enjoy talking to on rare occasions. Some are childhood friends whom I still care about a lot. Some are friends from high school. Some are friends that I have acquired since being married.

Whatever role they play in my life I am grateful for. I have many friends that we can go weeks or months without seeing or talking to. When we do happen to reunite, it is so natural and we just pick up where we left off. I like that in a friend!Unfortunately I don't have lots of pictures to share of me and my friends...I also didn't want to leave anyone out, but that is impossible!

Here are a few I did find though-

March is MY month!

I am usually not one to take on blog challenges or copy cat other's ideas. Since my blogging has been a bit lackluster...I will take on this challenge that I have saw on 3 of my friends' blogs so far (Emily and Steph and I think Kyndi?)

So, as if I weren't candid and honest enough about my feeling on my blog...you get to know more about ME! I will really try to blog each and every day, but life gets a little crazy sometimes so I will do as much as I can!

Here are the guidelines-scroll down and I will complete days 1 and 2.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- 5 favorite TV shows
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, anxious or mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song
day 31- the best thing about being you

Here is my most recent picture.



After looking at most of my pictures, I realize that I am in hardly any of them. It might lead one to wonder if I was even present at events! The thing is, I am usually the one taking the picture. I love digital cameras for the fact that you can delete unflattering pictures of yourself. For that reason....there aren't too many of me.

Now for the 100 facts(I know it said 15, but I couldn't stop. I am just SO fascinating!!!-I actually did this blog post several years ago...I just had to change a few things.)...

1. I love to sleep in and have naps-which is funny because I have insomnia and I have napped like 5 times in the past few years.
2. I hate cooking….everything about it-which is why I am grateful for food group. I only “cook” once a week.
3. I love to eat other people’s cooking, and it shows on my butt and thighs.
4. I like a clean house-shocking I know...
5. I like a clean car-I seriously panic if the car is super dirty, especially on long trips.
6. I like my kids to be clean and well kept. It was very easy when they were little...and I prided myself on their appearance. Now they are older and it isn't so easy.
7. I don’t like to do my hair or makeup.
8. I like wearing pajamas and my granny nightgowns.
9. I don’t like wearing real pants/jeans with a zipper-they are worn only for special occasions. When I get home, they are the first thing to come off.
10. I love the smell of clean laundry-which is funny because I only like Tide w/ April Fresh Downy. Any other smell makes me sick.
11. I hate the feeling of cotton balls.
12. I hate the sound of frozen snow or ice under my feet.
13. I hate having sick kids.
14. I hate being sick myself.
15. I love G.J. to warm up my blanket and tuck me in.
16. I thrive on sweet little words from my kids like “I love you.”
17. I played outside a lot when I was little-I had a very vivid imagination and had many many adventures.
18. I was a gymnast and went to Gymnastics camp at BYU when I was young.
19. I love to dance.
20. I love to swim.
21. I love the gospel with all my heart.
22. I love my family with all my heart.
23. I am extremely afraid of death.
24. I have a very persistent fear that someone I love will die in a car accident or drown.
25. I am a seatbelt freak, for me, and anyone else under my care.
26. I was almost abducted as a child.
27. I had ear tubes when I was 2. They fell out and I was magically cured by the Chiropractor...and all 3 of my kids have been as well.
28. I had my tonsils out when I was 8.
29. I won the times table championship in 3rd grade.
30. that same day I puked on a whole shelf of books at the library-no lie....
31. I love Arctic Circle…or any other place with a really good cheeseburger .
32. I like candy, a lot.
33. I like baked goods, a lot.
34. I like to camp.
35. I like to fly fish.
36. I don’t like hunting or guns.
37. I love to waste time on the computer…..as you can tell. It helps me escape from reality.
38. I have a degree from Utah State University in Family and Human Development.
39. I don’t like traveling in the car or anywhere for that matter, I get car sick easily.
40. I made the 2000 All State Drill Team, our team took state that year as well.
41. I am always on time and sometimes annoyingly early. I have been known to be late a few times, but it almost kills me to do so.
42. I don’t like it when people are late.
43. I don’t like being lied to.
44. I don’t like fake people.
45. I do like genuine people.
46. I am very afraid of the dark.
47. I hate spiders.
48. I hate things that bite.
49. I love rain, and thunder, and lightning, even though it scares me a little.
50. I never received less than an A in my whole elementary, middle, junior, and high school career. I was one of the Valedictorians of my Graduating Class. College however...much different story.
51. I was a suck up student/ teachers pet.
52. I have a very good memory.
53. I usually never forget a phone # after dialing it a couple times.
54. I have lots of personal “dirty laundry” (i.e.secrets) Some of them only I know...some only G.J. Knows, and some only a couple people know. Some of them are things to be proud of...and some definitely are NOT.
55. I like to read other peoples blogs.
56. I am very grateful that people leave me comments on my blog-it makes me feel like people care enough to take 10 seconds of their time just for me.
57. I am a good listener.
58. I keep important secrets really well.
59. I don’t like controversy or arguing.
60. I don’t like competitions.
61. I have never been able to color in the lines.
62. I have a gimp hand…I am missing a part of a muscle, so I hold my pencil and pen weird-I know you will all watch me next time.
63. I have only died my hair twice.
64. I look better with long hair.
65. I had tear duct reconstructive surgery as a baby.
66. I don’t like my freckles.
67. I have permanent retainers.
68. I lost 35 lbs since November 2006...gained like 15 back, and have lost 10 again....
69. I USED to be very skinny.….even after having Hallie...after Gavin and Kayler it all went downhill.
70. I have never broken a bone. Except for my broken/hurt foot incident.
71. I ripped my head open on a loose screw on a swing set, had lots of stitches.
72. I’m allergic to bees.
73. I have had very hard church callings, and I stress over doing a good job way too much, VT coordinator was the hardest I have ever had. However I truly do love serving.
74. I have read the Book of Mormon through 5 or 6 times.
75. I have only had one “real” job in my life. I was an orthodontic assistant for a year or so.
76. I try to be a good, true, and loyal to the end friend. That being said, I try to be friendly to all, but I have trust issues and it takes me a while to let people see the real “me” and all the baggage that comes with me!
77. I would do anything for anyone (within reason of course).
78. I don’t hold grudges.
79. I love nature-Everything about it. My dad taught me to appreciate the beauty around. Right now I really love watching birds. They are pretty amazing if you think about it.
80. I love a nicely kept yard.
81. I hate laying in the sun.
82. I think people who lay in the sun aren’t very smart. DUH skin cancer….
83. I think people who smoke aren’t very smart. DUH lung cancer…
84. I have never ever drank, smoked, or did illegal drugs.
85. I bite my fingernails.
86. I don’t like animals very much-I have had to make a huge exception for our Mollee dog. Funny thing is, she loves me most.
87. I don't swear very often. usually never, It just does not come naturally for me.
88. I have insomnia most nights.
89. I have panic attacks when I worry about my kids getting hurt.
90. I have no appendix, no tonsils, no adenoids, no wisdom teeth, and only 1 ovary and no uterus.
91. I like to do crafts and sew, but it does not come naturally to me, and I usually hate the end results.
92. I like to give to people who are less fortunate.
93. I am VERY impatient-seriously one of my very very worst traits. It affects everyone around me. I think the people who suffer most are my sweet husband and kids...and myself because I am too impatient to do things for myself-like exercise and do my hair and makeup and wear real clothes.
94. I get ornery really easily.
95. I like to laugh and have fun.
96. I cry only once or twice a year, maybe 3 times....but as I age that becomes more often!
97. I have only been to 5 or 6 funerals in my life, I don’t like them one bit.
98. I like to sing.
99. I don’t get embarrassed too easily...thank goodness because I have done some pretty embarrassing things.
100. I lead a very blessed life, and I’m grateful for every second

As for the meaning behind my blog title "Our Family Together Through it All"...I feel that is very self explanatory. My family is everything...and we are eternally together, through the good and bad!