Spring is here

First off...Thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice for my sweet Hallie. I am feeling a little better about it...and I think that I now have the faith to know that all will be well.

Today is the first day of Spring. This is the first year in what seems like forever that the weather actually matches the season! The past few years there has been loads of snow and freezing temps and it seems like anything BUT Spring.

I always loved spring as a kid. The day after Spring was my Grandma Bowthorpe's birthday. I miss her so bad it physically hurts...and I can hardly stand it some days.

Last night we had a FHE about how lucky our kids are to have so many Grandparents and Great Grandparents still living. We went and visited my Grandma Stewart in the care center and take her a little Easter decoration. She had a health scare a few weeks ago...and we thought we might lose her. She is so strong though and she will be able to go home hopefully Wednesday.

After that we went to my Grandma Bowthorpe's grave to leave a little Easter decoration for her birthday. Kayler asked who was buried there and I told him Grandma Bowthorpe. He bowed his little head...got a little choked up and then said, “I really REALLY miss her.” I could barely hold back the tears....and then he started digging ferociously at the ground and asked, “Help me!! We need to dig her out of there...she can't be buried.” It was so sad...sweet...innocent-and heartbreaking all at the same time.

We have been truly enjoying the weather and having fun. Here is a little picture diary of a few of our fun happenings:

Grandparents Lunch Day at School

Enjoying the park

My Sunday School Class at Jumpin and Jivin

Sunday School Class...they earned a party. I LOVE my calling

St. Patrick's Day Festival at the Rec. Center....it was so fun...kids had a blast!

Kayler-the Snow Man

My mom is nuts...she was showing the kids that she could do a head stand.

A Little advice for my Little Lady...

I have been thinking about doing this post for a few weeks now...and finally had the time to do so.

I need advice from all my wonderful blog readers. All of you can relate perfectly to me because you were all teenage girls once (except you G.J.-you are my only male reader!)

My sweet, tiny, adorable, precious, kind, smart, important, wonderfully beautiful Hallie is growing up TOO quick!! She will be 12 in a little over 6 months...and I am freaking out! Don't get me wrong, she is still very very innocent and sweet. She is MUCH more naive and innocent than I was at her age....which is kind of strange to think about, but anyways, she is.

I feel like I have had this deep inner fear since the moment she was born that I HAD to protect her from life's horrific things. From the mean people, horrible things in society, from pain, lessons learned, bad choices etc. I have spent many hours awake at night thinking of the mistakes and heartache that I endured as a teenager....and then spent many more hours thinking and praying how I could spare her those same experiences.

Just this week....it hit me hard. You see...Hallie has been begging for an email address (as well as a facebook account and cell phone-but those are a definite NO right now). She always uses my email for some of the silly learning games she plays online. No harm done to get her one right?? Well....I told her she could but that I would have full access to it. She received an email from one of her best friends who she has had since Kindergarten who just happens to be a BOY. He is a very very good boy...but he emailed her and said he now considers her his GIRLFRIEND.....WHAT!?!?!?!? Put the breaks on...I broke out in a sweat as I read her excited response to him.

I feel like I am being a spy on her evolving private life, but I also feel I have a right to monitor her. I want to give her freedom and my trust...but I also feel it has to be earned. So I had a great talk explaining that it is perfectly OK to have a crush on someone, but that the boyfriend/girlfriend game is something I really prefer she does not start.

But since then this overwhelming feeling of anxiety and panic will not leave me. I want to be the best mom I can for her. I want to say/do/teach her in a kind loving way the things and tools she will need to best prepare her for the cruel world awaiting her in middle, junior, and high school. I have this big fear that I will say too much or too little....and then have regrets.

I think back to my own mom when I was her age. She was a good mom, but there were MANY things she could have said/done that would have helped me immensely. It may not have changed the outcome of my life much, but still...I can't help buy wonder. I think of my friends' moms and YW leaders and the positive things that they did or said that had an impact on my life. I truly have been trying so hard to implement anything positive that I remember and use it for Hallie.

So.....I know that I am a good mom. I'm not perfect....but I am consistently trying. If you have a moment....would you pretty please share something that your mom or dad or other positive influence during your adolescents did/said or didn't do or say to you that made a positive impact on you making good decisions. Since I have the oldest kid of all my friends....I can then put those things to use...and hopefully have some good advice for all of you when your kids get to this age!! thanks so much...and with me luck, this is only the beginning :)

So...until then, here are some pictures from a cool hike we went on a couple weeks ago above my parents house. We truly live in the coolest/most beautiful place!