Update on my cookbook.

So this next update has to do with my new cookbook. If you missed that post, click here. http://mylittlefamilyof5.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-new-cookbook.html My blogger friend Kelli is the one who told me about it. It has truly changed my life….all jokes aside, seriously it has. I used to HATE to cook and I actually did everything I could to get out of it. My poor family, I don’t really remember anything we used to eat, although I know it was not near as good or healthy or inexpensive as it is now.

I know that I have complained about too little money in our household, and this book has been a blessing in disguise. In March, when I got the book, we had a gift card to Costco. We bought things like shampoos, lotions, medicines, paper towels, plates, laundry stuff, diapers, etc. With the cookbook, I only do a big grocery shop…as I like to call it- 2 times a month. I then go to the store for milk, bread, fruits and veggies usually 2 other times in the month, if that. Before the cookbook, I was spending like $400-$500 a month on groceries, and making like 7 or 8 trips a month. Now….believe it or not, we are spending $200 a month...no lie. Because I have the bulk more expensive items stocked up on, I don’t have to spend on that. With the cookbook, it uses very common things that I usually already have on hand. I get the recipes and grocery list that is provided and just check off what I have, and buy the rest. I usually spend $80 each time on the two big grocery trips, and then $10 or $20 every so often for random things.

Most of all, it is really good meals. They are not weird things that are all fancy and gross. It is good down home cookin’, just how we like it. My kids have not turned into better eaters, I will admit, but at least they are always offered good choices, and I pray that they will come around some day.

My Mom has got the book, as well as some friends. I haven’t checked to see how they are doing with it yet, but hopefully they are doing as well as I am. Have a good day.

p.s. there is only one downfall to the book, and you will have to stay tuned tomorrow for my complaint.

Here is the link to the book www.myfamilymealplanner.com

Update on 11:11

So before you even read the rest of this post, you will have to back track in time with me. I made this post last year in the fall when most of my blog friends didn’t even know I had a blog. http://mylittlefamilyof5.blogspot.com/2007/11/days-filled-with-1111.html

Ok, now that you are convinced I am psycho….lol. I need to do an update. I still have the problem. My husband makes such fun of me, my friends make fun of me, and I myself have finally started to think it is a little funny.

So now I need the help of all of you. What does it mean???? Just coincidence? A sign? Lets hear some thoughts.

"Oh man!"

So, I promised I would do some updates. The first update is about Kayler and his binkies. Janice thought I had said BIKINIS…lol. Nope, none of those around here.

Anyways, Kayler has LOVED his binky. He has since day 1. It was one of his first words. I have dreaded getting rid of it, because it is so handy. Some people don’t give their babies binkies because they don’t want the fuss of getting rid of it. My opinion is that I have had 2 years of pure bliss because of it, what is 1 or 2 days of stress getting rid of it.

The reasons I have to get rid of it is because: #1, he is almost 2…it is not so cute anymore. #2, he learned how to chew through them-he chewed through 4 brand new ones in one day….huge choking hazard. And #3, the kind he really likes has been discontinued. So, I thought it is a great time to get rid of it.

The only problem is that he hasn’t been sleeping all that well at night WITH the binky, so I am so worried what he will do WITHOUT the binky. The picture above is him with his “mad face” as we call it. (it is also a messy chocolate face) That is what he did after I told him that binkies are all gone. I cut the end off of one, showed him, and he looked up at me and said, “Oh man.”

I know he will do ok. I guess it is just hard for me because it is another indicator that he is not a baby anymore. He will be 2 on Sunday, and it just seems so surreal. I love him so much, he is truly a joy. So wish me luck with our binky-less days ahead, and have a great day!

Hooray!

HOORAY! The first party went great! It was absolutely wild…lol. I had about 35 women in and out of my house over the space of 4-5 hours trying on swimsuits, pants, shirts, etc. I was so so glad to have Sandie from Orem helping me out. I didn’t know much about each individual item, and she taught me so much, and by the end I was a pro! I booked a few more parties, and I am so excited for that! Hopefully it will just continue on steadily after that! Thank you to everyone who came and helped in any way!!!

This coming week, I am going to do an update a day of past stories that I just know you all have been wondering about….lol. NOT! I will give you a sneak peak. My titles will have something to do with, food, fat, binkies, and 11:11…..So stay tuned!

My first ModBe party

So, I guess the investigation is done, OLED is not dangerous. But, it got me thinking a little. I am WAY too open on my blog. I don’t care if friends and family read it, but random strangers or freaks I am not OK with. So, I am leaving this blog open to the public. I will post my random happening, funnies, etc. on it. I did create a private blog for my more deep post and rants and raves and struggles and more personal things. If you want to be a part of it, let me know by leaving your email. I hope that I have the time and energy to post to 2 blogs, we will see.

Anyways, I have been a little bit (or should I be honest and say A LOT) stressed this week because I am preparing for my first ModBe party this Saturday. I get so worked up and nervous about having things at my house. I want things to be just right and go so well. I am not nervous about Modbe, because its products are so good, and they will basically sell themselves. One of the main ladies from Orem is coming out to help with my first party, that is why I had to have it on a Saturday. I know that it is a Saturday, and so that a LOT of people will be out of town or busy, and I had totally planned on that. I do hope that I have a good turnout though.

So, I really hope I did not overlook anyone to invite. If you are reading this and did not get an invite, please forgive me, and you are more than welcome to come, 12-4 at my house. If you can’t make it, and want something, give me a call or check out my website that is listed on my sidebar. Have a great day!!! I will do a post after my party Saturday.

No worries about OLED, and a little about my funny kids

Well, good news about OLED. It is a spammer, who has sent SEVERAL messages out to random people. I have had several friends tell me they have gotten the same or similar message, depending on what he or she is selling. From what G.J. could tell, they are from the US, not Brazil or wherever it seemed they were from. I am not worried-...yet. I will keep you posted though.

Just a couple of funnies. Kayler is finally talking much better. Hallie was talking full paragraphs at 18 months, and both my boys have been much slower. This morning I went to pick him up out of his crib and he says, “Hi momma, wat u doin, where bebe, oh der it is, oh boy, laughs…..” That translates to, “Hi Momma, What you doing, Where’s my binky, Oh there it is, Oh boy.” He is so so cute at this age.

I picked up Gavin from preschool and he said to me, “I want to go to the Candy Store.” This is his same request every day. I told him as I usually do, “No, not today.” I do surprise him sometimes and take him though. Well today he got really mad and said, “Mommy, if you don’t take me to the candy store I am going to poop my pants!” Well, of course, I laughed, and that made him really mad. He is such a serious little stinker sometimes...lol

Speaking of Gavin. He passed his Kindergarten screening yesterday with flying colors. I am so proud of him, and SO excited for him to go to school everyday. He is going to have so much fun and learn so much.

So, no worries about OLED the spammer yet at least, we are going to investigate further, and have a great day!

Our Whirl-WINDY weekend!

What a whirlwind weekend it has been-in more than one way. First off, the dang !@#$%^& wind has blown non stop for what seems like forever. Wind makes me feel ornery, tired, dirty, and mean. I think it does that to most people.

The other whirlwind came because we went out of town. Anyone with kids knows that is a huge chore in itself. Hallie had a little dance competition in Taylorsville. G.J. stayed home with Kayler (thank goodness-hauling an almost 2 year old around isn’t my cup of tea). G.J.’s mom was heading up to Logan to watch our niece in a dance competition as well. She was nice enough to take Gavin with her, and he was SO excited. So that left me, my Mom, and Hallie to go all alone. I get excited for some “girly” time. I remember doing similar trips as a little girl with my mom and grandma, and I have some very fond memories of those times, so I hope I can do the same for Hallie. It was so funny. I asked her if there were any boys that she thought were cute at school. She got really embarrassed and said, “Well, Michael C. has really nice hair. He has bangs that are a smooth chocolaty brown color, and I like how he looks, but I am NOT in love with him, I just like how he looks.” She is just so darn cute!

Anyways, we left Friday, and got there in the evening. My brother lives there, but was going on a date. So we went to the Gateway. We wanted to take Hallie to the Children’s Museum. Well long story short, we waited for our dinner for 2 hours, missed the museum, didn’t get shopping done, and left with a mad 7 yr. old, and tired mom and grandma. We just needed some sleep.

Well, sleep we did. I NEVER sleep in past like 9. Well to my surprise, we woke up at 10:00 a.m.!!! Half our morning was gone. My brother desperately wanted us to clean his filthy house for him. This is the brother that might be going on Deal or No Deal(we haven’t heard anything about that by the way). So I decided if I wanted a share of his winnings I better clean his house.

So we did that and than Hallie had her competition. It was a rat race. 50,000 little girls in little costumes running and prancing and dancing and it was just crazy. I did the same exact thing for 15 years of my life, and I loved it. I earned a new respect for my mom for taking me to all those things. I think it really overwhelmed Hallie. She said she doesn’t want to dance next year, but we will see. I don’t want to turn into a crazy “stage mom”, but I also have a lot of experience in dance, and if you want to be good when you are older, you have to start young. We might give her a year off, and let her decide after that. I want her to do what makes her happy.

We then met up with Grandma Searle and picked up Gavin, ate dinner, did some shopping, and then had some FUN…finally. There is a place called Jump on It. It has TONS of trampolines wall to wall that you just jump from one to the other. It would have been my idea of heaven when I was a little girl. I loved jumping on trampolines, and was quite good at it I might add. Well skip forward after having 3 years and I was a little nervous. I didn’t have near the “control” in a certain area if you know what I mean. My brother was coming and bringing a date. I told him to ask the girl if she had a super duper sized maxi pad to bring a long to help his sister out. It was either that or a quick stop for some Depends. Well, we didn’t do neither, and when I first jumped on I was so scared that I was going to lose it…but I am so proud to say that I didn’t, not even one little drop…lol. I could still do a mean back flip and front flip and aerial. I got to relive my trampoline days as a child, and watch Hallie and Gavin have more fun than I have seen them have in a really long time. Hallie even woke up this morning and told me how much fun that was.

So, we get to relive that fun in 2 weekends, because she has another competition at Lagoon. I am like a little kid, because I love Lagoon just as much now as I did when I was 8…lol. So, I am praying this wind will go away. Thank you G.J. for babysitting Kayler so good. Thank you Rosanne for taking care of Gav. Thank you mom, for taking us. It was a whirlwind couple of days alright, but so fun. Have a great day!

"Regrets"

So this is going to be the most random post ever. My mind is just swarming with thoughts and emotions, and I wish I could type it all out and not feel bad or guilty about it, but I can’t. I have learned that a LOT more people read this blog than I ever realized, and I have been so open and candid about lots of things that I really don’t want the whole world to know. I need to think about starting a more private blog for my more personal posts and inviting my true friends, yet keep this one for my random things.

Anyways, I am having a little bit of blog withdrawals. It must be the nice weather that has kept everyone from posting. During the winter I thrived on reading all my friends interesting blog posts. Now that it is warmer, nobody-including me posts near as often. Oh well, I am SO glad the weather is finally nice.

Moving on, this blog post was titled regrets. I have a lot of regrets in my life, but I have a new #1 regret. It is that we never moved away from Vernal. Don’t get me wrong, Vernal is a wonderful place filled with wonderful people, scenery, events, etc. We have had several chances to move away, but something always happens and we never go, it just never feels quite right. Last summer we were all set to move to either Oregon or Texas. We had kept that private, just in case we stayed. G.J. of course got his job that he has now, which I am very grateful for. So now we don’t really need to leave I guess.

The main reason I would like to leave is to have a fresh start. I wanted to move out of Utah because I had heard from several people that Utah Mormons are a lot different than in other places. I mean different in a bad way. I think I have lived blind for the past 8 years of being married. People here are not very nice. No, there is not any certain incident that has made me blog about this all the sudden. I think it is just a “slap in the face” type of realization of how things, people, and situations “really” are. I guess I will never know what it is like to live somewhere different and just start from scratch.

Oh well, I would be ungrateful if I didn’t recognize what I do have, and the wonderful life I lead. This will probably be my last post of this type; I will be working on starting a more personal blog. I will still keep this one especially since I started my ModBe business and I need to spread the word however I can. I will also post my fun, happy, random posts on it and keep the deeper posts in my private blog. Have a good day, and enjoy this beautiful weather while it lasts.

My new adventure!

WOW~! Is all I can say. I have a little story to tell that involves lots of details, but I will make it as snappy as I can. After one of my more recent posts about money, I prayed so hard that I could know what to do to bring a little extra in. My thoughts kept going to my friend Jocelyn’s blog. She had posted her 5 favorite things, or something like that. One of them was her Modbe Jeans. I had heard of the company before, but thought it had kind of disappeared. Well, I could not get my mind off it, so I decided it must be a sign.

I called Jocelyn the next day, and she told me a lot more about it. I called her friend Cassie from St. George who is a consultant for the Modbe company. I made phone calls to everywhere trying to figure out if it was something I could or should do.

Let me just say, I am the worst salesperson ever. Don't get me wrong, I can do fine running a business, and the logistics of it all, I just don’t like to pressure people to do anything. I need a product that sells itself, rather than me being an annoying salesperson pressuring people to buy things they don’t want to. I am also one of the most cautious people I know, especially when it means becoming involved financially, emotionally, time wise, energy wise, etc. G.J. and I thought good and hard about this, and decided it was something I could do.

I contacted the main office in Orem, and they told me I was the first person to sell it in Vernal. Which is good for me since we don’t have that many clothing choices here.

So here’s the basic info. The company is called Modbe, most people have probably heard about it. It offers modest, high quality, good priced- shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, and probably their most popular stuff right now is their awesome swimsuits. They are SO cute. The shirts are long and cover very well. The pants come up higher, so you don't show "crack" if ya know what I mean. They offer sizes for little girls, starting at size 8. They offer women’s sizes from XS, clear up to XXXL.

I am having my first party on April 26^th (Saturday) at my house. It will be an open house from 12-4. One of the top women of the company is coming out from Orem to help me, and maybe even Cassie, clear from St.George. Anyone and everyone who reads this is invited to come, and bring a friend too. I just want to spread the word so people will know that I am doing it. I will also send invites to as many people that I can think of when it gets a little closer. In the meantime, if you would like to look or order, or if you are from out of town I have a website. It is www.kandice.mymodbe.com . The only way to order is through my website or from one of my parties. You are all welcome to spread the word any way you like, and give my website out. Thank you SO much.

So, I guess wish me luck on this whirlwind adventure I am starting. I am cautiously optimistic, but really excited. Thank You, and have a great day!

p.s. I might not be blogging nearly as often while getting this up and running, so stay tuned, it will settle down shortly and I will get back into my normal blogging routine. Thanks again Jocelyn, for this inspiration!!!

Tagged

I've been tagged by Jamie so here are a few things about Georgie and Me..........

How long have you been together? 10 years, I was 15.

How long did you date? 15 months.

How old is he? 26.

Who said ‘I love you’ first? G.J. for sure. I had a really hard time saying those words to ANYONE…..but I finally learned.

Who is taller? G.J. by 3 inches.

Who is smarter? G.J. is smarter overall, but I got better grades. He says it is because I took easier classes, which is not true. He is smart at the hard stuff like math, science, and computers. I am smart with all the other subjects and much smarter at common sense. Which is really lucky with having kids, we can both contribute something.

Who does the laundry? Me , but Georgie is really sweet and folds for me sometimes.

Who does the dishes? Both, he is much better at dishes-a perfectionist I might add, but I do all the wiping down of the kitchen better.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Him.

Who pays the bills? Me…for sure. But he is very informed of our finances.

Who mows the lawn? Both, but he is much better than me because I hate bagging the grass, I would just rather mulch it. It looks a lot better after he does it.

Who cooks dinner? ME….we just won’t go there…lol

Who is more stubborn? We are tied on that. He is ½ Mexican, and very feisty, so he likes his way. I am just a brat and want my own way…lol.

Who kissed who first? G.J. had never kissed anyone. I had kissed ummmm a few boys….or so, lol. I was still nervous though, it took him like 2 or 3 weeks of dating to finally do it. It was so cute because he was really really scared.

Who asked who out? He asked me.

Who proposed? Georgie. He did a really cute thing, can’t remember specifics, but it was cute.

Who is more sensitive? G.J. is more sensitive. He gets offended easier and stays mad longer. As far as crying goes, we are tied. We never cry.

p.s. the pic above is from G.J.'s graduation from college

p.s.s. I need to post a funny about Gavin. Yesterday I was putting his shoes on and I leaned over and must have showed him a little too much cleavage. He reached his whole arm down my shirt. I told him not to do that. He looked at me with the saddest face and said, "But mommy, I really like to honk your buttons!" I have NO idea where he learned that name for them, but whatever....you never know what goes on in the mind of a 5 year old little boy. Hehe....Bet he will just Love me to remind him of saying that when he gets older....lol

p.s.s.s. My weight is the same as last week. no change, at least it didn't go up though.

I love Rainy Days!

I LOVE rainy days, seriously, I do. I DO NOT LOVE snowy days or windy days. Rainy days and Sunny days are the only way to go. Today I was excited to hear the rain outside when I woke up. I love how it makes it dark and gloomy…weird I know. I like how the rain sounds on the roof, how fresh everything looks and feels, and most of all snuggling up with my hubby or kids and being lazy on a rainy day.

Anyways, moving on. I really debated about the post I am about to do. Monday is my cleaning day, and as I cleaned I went back and forth about sharing some certain details of our life. It would not leave my mind, so I decided that I was going to do it. More so because I want to look back on this time with a grateful heart more than anything. I hope to inspire anyone else in the same situation as well. Beyond that, I hope this is not taken the wrong way by anyone.

So money just sucks. Too much of it makes you bad, too little seems to make you sad. The first year G.J. and I were married, we made 9 thousand dollars. I thought we were rich, silly me. We are both very blessed to have well-off parents who both had college funds for us. That was a lifesaver. Since I had received a full ride scholarship, I got to use my college fund for a down payment on our first house. Well, the house appreciated in value quite a bit, so we had an even bigger down payment for our home we live in now. We also bought it before the market went haywire, and now our home is worth double what we purchased it for 4 years ago, and we don't have an outrageous mortgage.

Both of our parents have taught us to be very frugal with our money. Sometimes it is very tempting to be careless, but I am so grateful for what we have been taught. No, we don’t have fancy trucks, boats, ATV’s, campers, motorcycles, go on fancy vacations or cruises, and we probably never will. We have a few moments when we think, boy, that would be fun, but luckily they are only moments. I am a freak (as I am about a lot of things) about owing people money. I don’t care if it is a friend, the mortgage company, the hospital, or the trash man….I like my bills to be paid in full and on time.

It is hard living in a small town, where people think they just know everything. As far as the people living here are concerned, we live in a super fancy house, drive nice cars, and wear nice clothes because of our parents. That is SO not true. They have been very good to us, but we have our OWN mortgage and pay our OWN bills. I think that both of our parents are very in tune. They can tell when money gets tight and I can’t tell you how many times our parents have said, “Hey, here's a hundred dollars, or hey, we bought extra groceries or food storage, do you guys need some?” For those moments I will always be eternally grateful. They are so good to us. I am so stubborn and I guess prideful that I want to do it ALL ALONE.

We are on a strict budget. We don’t have lots of credit cards, outstanding debts, or extremely expensive hobbies. We only owe on our house, that is it. I am constantly worried about money, though I let very few people know. I rarely even let G.J. know. I control the finances, and I do show him every month how things are, but he never gets too concerned being the faithful optimistic fellow he is. I rarely let friends or family know either. As far as most people are concerned, we have money to spare and are doing great. G.J.’s job is wonderful, but has very average pay,---- not the 60, 70, or hundreds of thousands a year like some people have thought. We are extremely blessed, as I said before, but there are times when we have had to eat our food storage for weeks. There are times when we have scraped together spare change to go get the kids an ice cream cone. Right now is one of those times

It truly seems that just when we feel like we are top of things, something bad happens. I was very optimistic as I was planning a budget for the year. Then Kayler had his hospital stay, and I had some health things go on and that used up our entire tax refund. Having nearly no money in savings really scares me. Well, I looked throughout the year at the major expenses such as: car registration and ins., birthdays, school clothes and lunch money, piano lessons, Christmas, and the unexpected expenses, and I got so worried. I considered for just a moment to get a job. We tried to think of ways G.J. could pull in more money. Nothing seemed to go right. I paid our tithing, which I have always been faithful about, all our bills, bought a little food storage, and hoped that things would be ok for awhile.

Well, a few weeks ago in church, our bishop really stressed the importance of buying food storage. He is even having our young men and women do the canning for us. I wanted desperately to have enough money to buy a complete years supply for all 5 of us, but I knew that was not an option. So, with a leap of faith, I took an inventory of what we already have, and then looked at the guidelines for a year supply, and ordered what we needed to have a complete years supply for one person. That would be like 3 months for our whole family. I didn’t know where the money would come from, but I knew it would be ok.

Last Friday, I was paying bills. There wasn’t much left after, and I just said a silent prayer that things would be ok. I watched conference, and I have to admit I was in a pretty bad mood all weekend. I noticed a lot of talks were on faith, testimonies, and tithing. The end talk that the prophet gave lifted my spirits a lot, and I went to bed hopeful. I woke up to a wonderful phone call, truly an answer to my prayers. It was a lady from the hospital saying that the insurance had just called and told her they had made a mistake on paying on our claims. So we didn’t owe nearly as much as anticipated. The difference was exactly how much we had needed to buy our food storage. I got so choked up as I realized that everything will always be ok. We might not have the fanciest stuff or get to do the funnest things, but we will always have enough, and that is all that matters. We have had several, and I mean several miracles just like this happen. I know it is because of paying our tithing and just having faith. There are my weak moments, and I know that there will always be hard times ahead, but I know if I just keep it all together it will work out.

My friend Mandy told me I had been getting really “deep” in my posts lately, which I totally agree with. It has actually been so helpful for me to type all my thoughts out and realize that I am not alone through the comments people leave. I have become my very own therapist! I am actually a very private person, I don't like others to know of my stuggles, I rarely show much emotion, and I have had a lot of people say that I just seem “so perfect” or that we have the “perfect little family”. I hope that through reading this (if those people ever do…) will realize that nobody is perfect ever, no matter how things look from the outside looking in. I also did not want to seem ungrateful in any way, because we are blessed even through our trials. I also did not want this to be a pity party or poor poor me sympathy post. I just know that everyone has struggles and rough times, some much worse than others, and we are NEVER alone and someone ALWAYS has it worse off and that we all need to be grateful for what we DO have. I hope you all have a great day!

And last but not least, the arrival of Kayler

So I was really excited to finish writing of my kids’ births. Like something terrible would happen in one day and I would never get the chance to write Kayler’s. I drive my self crazy sometimes.

Anyways, after Gavin we stayed in our first home for almost a year. We bought a bigger house and moved when he was 11 months. Right before we moved, I had started what would be a large struggle with “women problems.” Please forgive me, I am going to be a little graphic and descriptive….I had an IUD put in, because I knew that I didn’t want any more kids for a LONG time. Well, little did I know but I had a large ovarian cyst growing, and pressing on the IUD. I tried to tough it out….it was SO painful. I am so stubborn, but finally after 6 months…yes 6 months, I couldn’t even bend over without almost passing out. I made a Dr. appt and he did an ultrasound. He just looked at the screen, asked me if I had eaten anything before I came. I said no, I had been in a hurry. He said good, because you are going to surgery right away. I had an orange sized cyst and it was getting close to the IUD and so he just removed the cyst and IUD and that was that.

Well, all was well for a few months, until I realized that it had been 3 months since I had a period. I knew I wasn’t pregnant, so I headed to the Dr. again. Well there was another cyst. So I waited until I couldn’t take it any more, and he finally had to do surgery again. G.J. had in the meantime graduated from College, HOORAY! Hallie was almost 4 and Gavin 18 months. I was on no form of birth control whatsoever, and my body was just a mess. I would go for like 6 months with no period, then wham…weird things would happen and I would be so sick…it was a nightmare. Finally, when Gavin was 2.5 and Hallie was almost 5, the Dr. suggested getting pregnant again. First off, I was already happy with my two kids, a boy and a girl. Second, I had a terrible time pregnant, and I honestly didn’t think I could do it again. And Third, I thought for sure my body would not cooperate, but I told him that G.J. and I would have to pray about it. So a couple days later, something happened. It was the strangest thing EVER. We decided to go to the temple. We were doing sealings. We were just waiting at the end of a very long hallway in the temple. At the very end of the hallway was a picture of Mary holding the savior as an infant. It was so beautiful. I just couldn’t take my eyes off the baby. Then I saw a man walking towards me. I soon noticed that it was my Dr. (with whom I had a very special relationship with…him saving my life and all-on more than one occasion). He walked towards me, shook my hand and said hello. It was at that very instant that I knew that every thing would be o.k. and that I was supposed to have another baby.

So I was not surprised when the very next month, I was pregnant. I had to do a lot of ovulation testing and take more hormones, so it was not a huge surprise. I was very sad when at 5 or 6 weeks pregnant, I miscarried. I just figured that was the baby I was supposed to have and I was done with all of it. Finally I decided that I would give it one more try, but after that…it was over. So, after awhile, I realized that it was time to test again, and sure enough, I was pregnant. I was so excited.

That was of course until I started to get sick again. There were several times within weeks 6 and 20 that I had to have G.J. come home from work to take care of me. I threw up a little, but was so nauseous and week. I truly felt like such a wimp. I had my mom on one side saying that she was not sick not even one day in her pregnancies. I had some people even tell me that I must “make up” my morning sickness. I usually never ever wish my trials upon others, but for those people I wish they could just feel what it was like for maybe a week, and then they would change their tune a lot. There was a medicine called Zofran that helped a little, but at the time, it was $32 a pill…no joke. Now it is much cheaper. Luckily we had good insurance, but I still treated those things like gold.

Well, I just knew I was having a girl. I was shocked when my ultrasound said a boy. The same day of my ultrasound, my dr. did an in office check, and he said he thought for sure it was a girl. well that went on back and forth pretty much until 30 weeks until I had a 3D U/S (see pics above). It was definitely a boy. But I am getting ahead of myself. During some routine blood tests, the dr. realized that I had a blood disorder. Thrombocytopenia was what it was called….big word that basically means that my body did not make enough blood platelets. I had to have it checked every week from 20 weeks on. That was when the Dr. called us in for a serious talk. The condition itself is not necessarily life threatening, but after you have had it with one pregnancy, it will most likely show up in future pregnancies, and get worse with each one. He told me that I was very lucky to have 2 almost 3 kids. He said it was time to get serious and make the decision to not have anymore kids, permanently. After G.J. and I thought about it, we realized that A. 3 kids was PLENTY. B. I could not endure pregnancy ever again. And C. what if I got pregnant again and had more serious complications and died-that would leave him all alone with no wife and 4 kids with no mommy. So after much praying, we decided that G.J. would take a little visit to the dr. and end our childbearing years. That must have looked so funny. Him being 24 and me 23, headed to the dr. me big and pregnant (we waited until I was 24 weeks, so that the baby would be big enough just in case something happened) to have him “fixed”…hehe. (G.J. will kill me if I say anymore, so I will just leave it at that)

So after that, the pregnancy just went on. I had one more hospital stay, for a nasty bout with the flu. That was NO fun. We checked my blood often for 2 reasons. # 1, to see how low it got, so that the hospital would have enough blood on hand in case I needed a transfusion, and #2 because if my blood levels were too low, I would not be able to have an epidural, because the blood would not clot quickly enough around my spinal area, and I could be paralyzed. The level it needed to be was at least 100. Most people have a level of 300-400 or so. I was not showing signs of starting labor early like the other kids. So 37 weeks came and went, but only 4 days later, at 37 weeks and 4 days, the Dr. decided it was time.

He didn’t want the baby to get too big and cause bleeding that would endanger me, so he just broke my water and admitted me to the hospital. We did the blood test that would determine my level for the day, so I would know If I could have an epidural. I was just praying for them to come back and say, it was 100…Well, I was very sad when they came back and it was like 50 or 60…..so no epidural. Needless to say, I was scared to death. I know women who do it ALL the time, with no issue, but I am a wimp, so I was so worried. My water was already broke, so there was no going back now.

I labored throughout the day, and this was actually my longest labor of all 3 kids. Finally by that evening things were INTENSE. There are not even words to describe how bad it hurt. They had me on the birthing ball, and I would pretty much pass out, then they would lift me up into the bed. It seemed like this went on for hours, but it was really only 30 minutes or so. My mom and dad were in the room this time, along with G.J. I hadn’t intended on my dad to come in, but he just sat in the corner behind the bed and cried the whole time. I wouldn’t have changed having him there for nothing.

Let me just say that I never ever cry, not even in the privacy of my own home. Well, I was crying there…and screaming, and I was SO embarrassed. Whenever I could, I would apologize and say…I am so sorry for crying…over and over. Finally the Dr. just said, you scream as loud as you want…and that is just what I did. Luckily, only 3 pushes later, Kayler arrived, safe and sound. He was exactly the same size as Gavin, 7 lbs even and19 1/4 inches long, born on May 4^th 2006.

I felt WONDERFUL after it was over. No numb legs, no hurting back from the epidural, and most of all, NO STITCHES (which I had a lot of with the other 2) I hopped right up and was able to be with him in the nursery and it was just great. I recovered SO quickly. I would never ever recommend natural birth to anyone, or never want to do it again myself, but still-the recovery was nice…

The kids enjoyed him so much. Let me just say that the 3^rd time was the charm. He was such a good baby, and I finally felt like I was doing the mom thing right. Hallie and Gavin were my practice babies! It was definitely an adjustment to three kids. It actually didn’t get all that bad until he learned to walk though, as silly as it sounds. Then it got really hectic. He is a little busy body! But He is such a very happy addition to our family. He is starting to talk so much, and it is so cute. I am so happy that we made the decision to have him, as hard as it was. I can’t imagine our family without him. We are now complete.

I am so glad that I decided to write down these experiences. I know these were SUPER DUPER Long posts…I had a lot of details that I didn’t want to forget. I know that I shared a lot of details about how difficult things were for me, which they were. I know that there are so many people out there who have MUCH worse situations than mine by far, and a lot more severe problems. I also know that there are many who don’t end up with 3 healthy babies like I did. A long with that, I have so many friends who have only got to have 1 baby, or no babies. So I am grateful in every single way that I have 3 beautiful healthy children, no matter how hard it was to get them here. I will continue to pray for some of my closest friends, Mandy, Briana, Jessica, Erin H. and Heather E. to be blessed with babies. My heart aches so often for them. I know the lord has a will and a reason for everything, trusting him and having the faith to do so is the hard part.

Even though this took a lot of time to do, I am very glad I did it. I now create my own “tag” I encourage each of you to jot down a few notes, if you haven’t already about your children(s) births. I would love to read about them on your blogs, or even if you just do it privately, having it written down is all that matters. Have a great day, and a wonderful weekend-conference weekend, HOORAY!

Here comes Gavin!

So after adjusting into family life a little bit after Hallie was born, we bought our first house. We also both started into college full time. Boy was that fun. That next year was kind of a blur. I would be studying and poor little Hallie would say, “No momma, read me my book.” Let’s just say that my good perfect “A’s” of high school were long gone. That is around the time that I started to have the feeling that it was time for another baby. Hallie was only 18 months, and I never had wanted kids very close together, but the feeling would not leave me. I stopped birth control, and then all hell broke loose. My body would not function properly. The Dr.’s pretty much told us good luck on getting pregnant. I was on a few courses of a hormone therapy, and to my surprise, a few months later I was pregnant with Gavin. It was kind of funny how I found out. We had gone to the drive in, and there was someone smoking or something. It made me REALLY sick, and I thought, hmmmm, that’s weird. I thought nothing of it until later that night and I made G.J. drive to a 7-11 to get a test. He came home and sure enough, it was positive. He was happy, but had to be at work at 5 or 6 the next morning so he just fell asleep. I just sat there in shock. I wanted this to be a happy moment, because with Hallie it was such a shock when I found out. It was a little scary, because some of the hormones I had taken were known to cause birth defects, but after my first visit with my dr. he assured me all would be fine.

Well, I was sick again with Gavin’s pregnancy. I didn’t throw up nearly as often, but I was CONSTANTLY nauseous. I almost think I preferred throwing up; at least I had a little relief after. I think more than anything I was so tired. I was taking care of a toddler, going to college full time, working at an orthodontist office a few days a week, and actually really lonely to tell you the truth. G.J. worked long hours and then went to college the rest of the night. All my friends were headed off to college themselves, but without husbands and babies, and I will say that was really hard for me to watch.

Anyways, moving on, I had a little better luck this time, no appendix to rupture, no crazy rash, and only 3 or 4 hospital stays for things I don’t even remember now. I just knew he was a boy even before the ultrasound, I just knew it. I had a dream before I was pregnant with him of a little baby boy crying, and I woke up and thought Hallie was crying, but she wasn’t. I fell asleep and there he was crying again.

At 35 weeks, I went into labor. I got to the hospital and was 4 centimeters dilated and it was kind of scary. I was so sick of being pregnant, but I also didn’t want anything to be wrong with him. They kept me over night, and actually brought me all the admitting papers to have the baby, because things were moving pretty rapidly. Well the next morning after some anti-labor meds, I had stopped, but was now dilated to 5 centimeters.

So the Dr. sent me home. I had to drive to Roosevelt every 2 or 3 days to have non-stress tests. I was absolutely miserable. First off, it was that winter when we had an inversion in Vernal from like Thanksgiving clear past Christmas. Next, being dilated to 5 centimeters with a baby’s head constantly pressing “down there” was almost unbearable at times. I told my Dr. that I really thought he was going to fall out at any time. He assured me that would just not happen.

At 36 weeks, they did an amniocentesis, not my type of fun. It hurt very bad, and then it put me into labor once again. They were doing the amniocentesis to see if his lungs were ready, and since the results wouldn’t be back in a day or 2 they had to give me meds to stop my labor once again. They just make you feel all yucky and more miserable than I already was. The results came back and his lungs were not ready. I was so sad. I wanted what was best for my baby, but I was absolutely exhausted.

Finally, on the first day of my last semester of college…..of all days for it to happen, I went to the Dr. and he decided it was time. I was exactly 37 weeks, just like with Hallie. I had to call my professors and tell them, “Sorry, I am giving birth today, can’t make it to class.” I again did cervadil to make my labor start up again, and he said it might take a long time again, since I was still so young. Well, I once again proved him wrong. I did get an epidural again, and I remember it so clearly. My mom and G.J. were with me again, a little more calm this time, and they were watching Jeopardy at 3:00 p.m. It was final Jeopardy time, around 3:25 and I told them that I needed to push. The nurse said, “Oh honey, you don’t need to.” I practically had to scream at her to have her look. She was slowly putting her gloves on as she lifted up the blanket and she all the sudden got really nervous and said…. “Oh no, don’t push, someone call the Dr!” She told me, “I might have to deliver your baby myself.” I frankly did not care who got my baby out…it just needed to come out. The Dr was across the street at his clinic, and he came running in. I remember him looking across the room and he said, “don’t push!” Well, he barely got a gown and gloves on, came over and I pushed like 1 maybe 1.5 times, and there was my Gavin. 7 lbs even and 19.5 inches long born on January 20^th 2003 at 3:40 p.m.-10 minutes after final Jeopardy.

He was so cute. Hallie came to the hospital soon after and was so cute with him. She was only 2 years and 4 months old. She acted more like a 3-4 year old though. She was completely potty trained, could talk in paragraphs, draw amazing pictures and letters, sing any song she had ever learned, and just acted so old.

Then the adventures began as a mother of 2. I graduated from college when he was 3 months old. I was SOOOO glad to have that over. Skip forward to now and my Gavin is a little fireball of sheer mischief. He is so tiny, but full of so much energy, excitement, and most of all love. He is so tender hearted and so sweet to think of others. I love him so much.

There was SO MUCH to go through before the arrival of our last little boy, so stay tuned. Have a great day!

My Hallie

So the other day, I was thinking about my blog and how I totally write it like it is for an audience or something. Which, in a way, it is, but I really truly honestly use this more as my family journal than anything.

So the reason I am saying that, is that this next post will probably bore every single person to death except for me and maybe Hallie when I choose to let her read it. I have never kept a journal, and so I have 25 years to catch up on. The past few days have been super boring for me since my spring cleaning is all done. While Hallie is at school, and the boys are napping, I have loved to watch “The Baby Story”, “Special Delivery”, and “Deliver Me.” These obviously are all baby shows. I think the process of birth is absolutely amazing. If I had any career choice, I would have been a baby Dr. I know I am done having kids, but I still really love watching these shows. It really got me thinking, I haven’t written down the main details of my pregnancies and labor and deliveries of each of my kids. I have written a few details in each of their baby books, but I have no other written record. So before time gets away with me, I am going to dedicate my next few posts to that. I hope my kids will treasure it when they care to read about that type of stuff. So here goes…..you might want to grab a snack and soft chair if you are one of my “readers” who actually has the time and energy to read my nonsense.

I was 16, almost 17 and the date was Feb. 8^th 2000. The last thing I ever expected to find out was that I was pregnant. My whole world turned into a blur as I had to totally re-evaluate what I was going to do. G.J. and I decided to get married. That meant that I needed to graduate high school. I only had 3 months to finish a whole year of high school, not to mention get straight A’s because I was such a perfectionist. Well, that is when the morning sickness started. I was SO sick. I mean SOOO sick. I had what they call hyperemesis gravidarum. That is basically a fancy word for WICKED MORNING SICKNESS. My day would go as this: wake up at 5 a.m., eat breakfast, puke in the shower, get dressed, eat another breakfast, puke again, go to drill team (which they still let me finish even though I was pregnant, thanks to my awesome coach Robin), then I went to a full day of high school, endured lots of mean looks, words, the loss of friends, paired with LOTS of puking, and me trying to keep it all together, then I would head off to the alternative high school after regular high school to take some more classes, drive home, puke on the way home, eat dinner, puke it up, then I started on my college classes(which I had to take to earn enough credits to graduate), high school home work, and alternative school homework, then I would cry myself to sleep and start over the next day.

This went on for the better parts of 2 months. I was hospitalized once because I lost down to just over 100 lbs, and the Dr. felt a little hospital time would be great. It did help a lot, and things went great. I got married on May 13^th. My mom and dad provided me with the most BEAUTIFUL wedding. They didn’t care about the circumstances, I am their only daughter, and they gave me a wonderful wedding. We went on a nice weekend honeymoon. G.J. by the way was SO sweet to me. He even cleaned up my puke…and other bodily fluids…lol. It was so weird to still be going to high school married and all. All was going well until my appendix started to burst, and I required surgery. Yep, had surgery at 24 weeks pregnant. They couldn’t put me to sleep, so I had to be awake with an epidural that was placed between my shoulder blades and listen to them cut into my body…yuck. It was scary, and I was in the hospital forever it seemed like. G.J. would bring me my homework from all my classes. I had to beg the dr. to let me out of the hospital for finals time, and to let me speak at my graduation as one of the Valedictorians. I don’t know how I pulled it off, but I know a lot of prayers were said on my part to do it. Just because I was young and dumb enough to get pregnant, I was not dumb enough to let my academic success go out the door. I am so grateful I did so well, because it earned me a full ride scholarship, which came out very handy.

Moving on, we were finally graduated, I was feeling a little better, and we could finally focus on just being married and pregnant and we were actually very happy. My parents sent us on a wonderful honeymoon to Hawaii for 13 days. It was so much fun. We got our own little cute apartment, and went on walks in the neighborhood and it was just so nice. We both grew up VERY fast that summer. I was not about to be a “statistic” -dead beat, divorced, terrible teenage mother.

I had a few more hospital stays for very random things. Kidney infection, dehydration, a pregnancy induced rash…that one was terrible, my whole body itched SO bad. So the Dr. finally decided that my body was actually becoming allergic to being pregnant. So I was induced at 37 weeks with cervadil. The nurses were SO sweet to me. G.J. was Scared to death, and barely spoke 2 words to me. I remember the Sydney Olympics were on T.V. and we watched them the whole day while I labored. My mom was there of course, and she went into shock a little….she was really freaked out by her baby having a baby I guess.

The nurses told me since I was so young and I hadn’t really dilated that it might be at least 2 days laboring. Boy did I show them. By 5 or 6 that evening I had gotten my epidural and was set to go. The dr. came in at 10:30, realized I needed an episiotomy, then I pushed 2 times, and delivered my sweet Hallie Ann Searle, 6 lbs, 6 ozs, 18.5 inches long at 10:40 p.m. on September 28^th of 2000.

She was my precious angel, who needed to be on this earth. I look back and think, why did that happen? Of course I know “how”, but I know she was sent here for a specific purpose, and I find out more and more of that the longer she is in my home and in my arms. I was in no way ready to be a mother at 17, but I know it happened for a reason. I love her so much, and cherish my only “little girl.”

That was only the beginning of our journey as parents and our little family. There was much learning, sacrifice, and joy to go through in the following years as our two little boys were born. So stay tuned for my next two posts, and you can hear all the details….if you choose. Have a great day!

Just don't know what to say :(

So here I sit at almost 11 p.m. About 2 hours ago, I learned that the little girl that I mentioned in my post this afternoon was found dead. “Visibly Shaken” is how I can explain how I felt when I learned of the news. I cried, I felt like throwing up, and I had chills all over my body. How could this happen. There are some VERY bad people out there. What kind of monsters live on this earth? I just hugged my very much alive sweet little sleeping 7 year old angel of my own. I posted before that it was something about the little girl who was missing who had the same age and the same little toothless grin as my own little girl that made me feel so connected. That poor mother and father. They said on the news tonight that the father had been in a prison camp for nearly 20 years, and they had just moved to Utah as refugees. He had 4 sons, one of which was a 3 week old baby. She was their only daughter. The torture he endured in the prison camps will never compare to what has happened today.

I know I post on here so often at the naughty little things that my kids do, and I have a lot of guilt for doing that right now. It is such a hard job to be a mom, but after it is all said and done, having them taken away would be simply too much for me to bear. I sit awake at night sometimes panicking over the “what ifs” and I guess that is why I get too involved in cases like this. I just could not bear anything happening to my sweet angels. I hope we all can kiss our little children and be grateful for every single second we have to share with them-good or naughty, healthy or sick, night or day, in every way.

I don’t know if the family has any idea about eternal families, but I do. After watching the news for the past couple hours, I turned the T.V. off and told G.J. that at least that sweet little angel is in heaven. I also know that the lord has a time and a reason for every thing, and trusting him is how we make it through this life. I am so grateful for my 3 beautiful kids, my wonderful husband, and that I will be with them forever. And ever.

Strangers Mean Danger

So everyone who lives in our state probably knows about the missing 7 year old little girl. Well, it has had me absolutely sick to my stomach. I have a 7 yr old little girl, with missing front teeth just like the one that is missing. It really hits close to home when you have a child similar to one that is in trouble. I can’t even imagine in any way the pain and fear her poor parents must be feeling. To make matters worse, they just moved here last year and have a major language barrier.

I could hardly wait for Hallie to get home from school today. I just hugged her, and loved her and decided to test her and Gavin’s knowledge of stranger danger. I think I kind of freaked them out a little. I showed them the pictures of the missing little girl. Then I gave them several scenarios of what they would do in a stranger situation. I asked them, “Well, what if they offered candy?” Gavin hesitated a little on that one, of course. I asked them, “what if the person said they would kill your mommy and daddy if you didn’t do what they said?” Hallie really stalled on that one. I had to convince her that they would be lying if they said that.

Well, of course Hallie is a little older and they had just had an assembly in her school about drugs, alcohol and strangers. She had to tell me all the stories she had heard. Then she says, “what if all the people in the world were zapped except me and all the bad people in the world? What do you think they would do to me?” ooooohhhhh Hallie-----I’m thinking…please stay on earth with me for a second. Then of course Gavin has his own terrible fantasy and said, “what if I got throwed in a zoo with a tiger and it ate me?” Well, Kayler, upon hearing the word tiger started saying, “Grrr. Grrr. Tiga” Me feeling like our very serious conversation had taken a wrong turn had to stop their giggling at Kayler and each other and made them repeat like 10 times- “STRANGERS MEAN DANGER!”

I had warned them of strangers many times in the past, and it has backfired a little. Now, everywhere we go and there are people that I know, but they don’t, my kids just hide behind me. I don’t know if they are just shy, or afraid. It kind of bugs me that they don’t even dare talk to adults, but I guess you can never be too safe.

So please pray for the missing little girl. Make sure that all of you have had the stranger talk to your kids. Also, check out this website, it has a list of all the sex offenders and other serious criminals in your area. Kinda freaky, but a really good thing to know. http://www.familywatchdog.us/

-oh yeah. Minus 2 lbs…hooray, must have weighed myself with a lot of water in me, because 2 lbs in one day is just too good to be true!