What's that saying???

What's that saying...or should I say "sayings"....
-The Calm before the storm-? "When it Rains it pours..."

Let's document the "calm"

I had a wonderful night out last Friday with one of my friends Holly. We don't see/talk that often, but we went to dinner, walked at the Rec. center, and went for ice cream after ;) It was so good to vent and let her vent and just be myself....I truly needed it.

We had the BEST weekend as a family. My kids (and me) were SO tired of being stuck inside. So we dressed in our snow gear and headed to the newly redone park in town. We had a lot of fun. The kids enjoyed themselves as much as if it were the middle of summer!



We came home and made some homemade Gak. We had made it for Gavin's birthday party, and Hallie wanted to try. They had a blast making it, and it is super easy:



That night G.J. and I got to go on a REAL date....like a babysitter, dinner, bowling, shopping, and Ice Cream. It was G.J.'s birthday Tuesday, and weekdays are so hard and busy, so I am so glad we celebrated on the weekend.

Now for the "Rain...and the Storm"

Sunday evening I received a frantic phone call from the local Care Center. It was about my Great Aunt Venna. My mom is listed as the 1st emergency contact, my aunt the 2nd, and me the 3rd. Well-my mom is on a cruise, and my aunt was on vacation in California-so that left me.

The woman at the Care Center preceded to tell me that Venna wasn't doing well and could I come? I dropped everything and headed there. I arrived to find Venna so so sick...and she was so distraught. She turned over and asked me if I could help her. The fear in her eyes of pain and suffering brought me instantly to tears. I called my brother Kael to come give her a blessing. He arrived around 8 with my sister in law Emily's dad Mike...who just happens to be Venna's old neighbor and was close to her.

Mike gave her a beautiful blessing basically releasing her from this life. It was so special. That is when things got tricky. She became so agitated and you could tell she was hurting. She would reach out and cry...like she was reaching for someone or something...and then her arms would collapse in despair. Her Dr. was also on a cruise, so it was pulling teeth to find another Dr. willing to give her some medicine for the pain. As the “person in charge” so to speak, I was faced with -do we give her morphine, do we give her anti anxiety, do we put her on oxygen........LOTS of questions. Everything I did I had to sign some things saying that I wouldn't sue them if she died from giving it to her----seems like a silly concept, but I just felt so inadequate to be making these decisions about a human life, and someone I cared about.

I called my other Aunt who lives in Duchesne along with a few cousins. The came about 10. We sat by her bedside reminiscing and comforting her. It was so sad...Venna lived a VERY hard life. As a child she was kicked by a horse. It caused her to have a seizure disorder, and she never progressed mentally past the age of about 12. She had to watch most of her family die, while she remained alone and lived the past several years a miserable life in the care center. She was not a favorite among residents and caregivers. She had no children. She did get married when she was 60 or so...but he died shortly after. So sad :(

It got late and my body couldn't handle it, so reluctantly I left her side and came home for a few hours to sleep. I woke up and got Kayler handed out to my good friends Holly and Karlee for the day-I am truly indebted to them for taking such good care of him so I could be there. I sat by her side alone until my other cousin Marlene came for a few minutes. Then a nurse of Venna's from a few years ago that had a very special bond with her came in. It was amazing to see her countenance change. Even though she had fallen into basically a coma in the night...when Sara walked in it was so peaceful. My cousin Caradie showed up to relieve me, but just then I noticed Venna had stopped breathing. It was so heartbreaking and such a feeling of helplessness came over me-wanting to save her..but wanting her to go...I wanted her spirit free from her trapped body so badly. After about 4 minutes of not breathing, she took a huge breath and her heart started beating again. After about 20 minutes, the breaths slowed, her heart stopped, and she passed away...my hand in hers, and her favorite stuffed monkey in the other hand.

It was definitely a neat experience...and something I am very grateful I could be there for. Venna had 9 siblings. My Grandma Bowthorpe was her sister. When their mom died, she asked my Grandma to please take care of Venna. When my Grandma died she asked my mom to please take care of Venna. When my mom left on vacation on the 12th...she asked me to please take care of Venna-so I felt a lot of pressure and trust was in me...going back 3 generations.

The past few days have been a blur. I have never planned a funeral by myself before. Granted I do have a little help from some of my other family, but since my mom had arranged everything, I had to get it all in order-sign all the paperwork and go through all the hoopla of funeral details. Needless to say I have had many calls with the mortician, Bishop, family members, etc.etc.etc.etc. I think I had around 60 phone calls yesterday, and I am not even exaggerating.

Thank goodness one of those phone calls was from my mom. I hadn't been able to contact her the day Venna passed, and she finally got the message. She was sad, but relieved and happy it was over.

There have been so many deaths in Vernal lately that the mortician was booked until next Monday, so I have had plenty of time to get things in order, and I am so glad my mom will be back for the funeral. She truly loved Venna, and spent so much time since my Grandma died taking care of her.

Me and Venna-Thanksgiving at the Care Center 2009



If it wasn't enough to have a death...there has been a couple instances of some other family drama. Very hurtful and awful things-but my body and mind just has to let it go...and know that it will all be O.K.

I called and made myself a massage appointment tonight. I never spend money on things like that, but as I sit I find that my body is literally quivering from adrenaline and running on empty from no sleep. I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed my kids and me with good health and that everything within the walls of my own home is peaceful and OK.....

To end on a lighter note, I went to enrichment night last night where they taught us CPR and other lifesaving techniques. The rules for CPR changed January 1st 2011...so I was glad I went. I went up to the instructor after and said, “I am so glad you taught me all of this, because I let someone die in my arms yesterday...” He looked at me SO shocked...and I told him the story. I hadn't meant it disrespectful-or morbid...but I have to have a little humor to prevent myself from cracking! He felt a lot better after I explained why!

So....that's my story of the week...

The Celebration

I am such a sucker for Birthdays.....(scroll down for pictures...also, I know they appear small. I have been saving time by doing collages on picnik.com, but if you click on the picture it is bigger)

This year was an "off" year for kids birthdays. Plus Gavin's baptism is in a couple weeks...so I considered that his big party.

He won however...and I did the whole kit and kaboodle. He had treats at school, 3 friends over after school for a party, dinner at his favorite Canton City, and a small family party...with just us and Kael and Emily and their kids came over later.

His friend party was very short. We did a science project, opened presents, had cake and ice cream, and went on a little scavenger hunt for their party favors.

So, thank goodness my kids' birthdays are spaced perfectly even throughout the year, January, May, and September. I need to breathe for a few months before we do this again!:

Tiny...and Precious

Isn't he precious.....



When I look at this picture I see a tiny-sweet-innocent-little boy. This was when he was 2 years old and one of my FAVORITE pictures ever taken of him.

Fast forward 6 years-to this EIGHT year old!.....:



And he is STILL my precious- tiny -sweet- innocent- eager to please -little boy. He is so good at church, school, and most of the time at home. He might be tiny but this kid can eat. He is my little snack monster and he is always preparing a snack for himself.

He loves anything to do with Legos or building stuff. He has lots of friends at school. His current best friends are Sam, Alec, and Dylan. He wants to be a chef and scientist when he gets big.

But for now, he will just be my baby boy!

In other news, we have had a nice week. Monday for FHE we got some ice cream with friends:



Last night we went and did sealings at the Temple. It was truly one of the most spiritual experiences I have had in the temple. So spiritual and special that it is too sacred to share, but it is exactly what I needed!

So stay tuned, this little boy has a tiny little party with some friends and then our family party!

p.s. you think Gavin would be embarrassed or mad that I call him tiny and precious and my baby...but nope, he soaks it up, he loves his mommy!

Teeny Bean to Tween

Ever since Hallie was tiny we have called her Teeny Bean...Beany Boo...whatever we felt like.

Well today my Teeny Bean went from seeming Teeny....to TWEENY!

She got her braces off. Here is the before and after:





Then she got home from school and had to pull another "tween" thing on me and noticed the neighborhood kids at our neighborhood sledding hill-then got herself all dressed and ready and went and played with them....by herself....without me :(



I know, I know, she is 10...I should let go a little more. But she is and always will be my teeny bean...my baby girl :)

Meet "Stephanie" and some other stuff...

What a week! Keeping busy is a good thing I keep telling myself. I will try to highlight a few things from the past week.

Meet “Stephanie” This is Kayler's newest obsession. We were at Wal-Mart and I was oblivious to the fact that he grabbed this HUGE valentine stuffed animal off the shelf until we were paying. Since it was only $10 and he was very concerned about bringing her home I gave in. As soon as we got home he stripped but naked and asked if he and Stephanie could go snuggle in my bed:



While a bit annoying...I have to foster this new event. Kids with autism have a very hard time pretending. Everything is very literal to them, so making believe with a stuffed animal is a huge step! I have no clue why he came up with that name. We know lots of Stephanies though!

On to other news, my calling is keeping my busy...or crazy, whichever way you want to look into it. I could go into vast detail and why I come home crying from church every week...but I will spare you. Instead I will show the pictures from last Friday night. We were SO bored, and I needed to go through some posters for our music time at church. The kids thought it was awesome to be at the church all alone! They played with Zhu Zhu pets on the gym floor, played with cars, put on a play for G.J. and I...I tried to capture a few pictures:



Saturday I had all the fog and cold I could handle. So we drove up to the ranch on Diamond Mountain. It was a balmy 35 degrees and Sunny. We saw deer and got a good look at the THICK layer of pollution/fog/muck over Vernal:



We went sledding that afternoon with our neighborhood friends the Nielson's. I was busy trying to provide hot chocolate, so I had to steal the pictures from Candace's blog, she is an EXCELLENT picture taker..something I am not, so Thank you!



And yes....G.J. Is the biggest kid of them all and I had to drag him home reluctantly after all the kids were done....

That night I had a little night out with my friends Candace, Karlee, and Heather. Dinner and Ice Cream was just what the Dr. ordered.

This week we will be celebrating my tiny sweetheart Gavin's Birthday. I truly can NOT believe he will be 8 years old. Crazy!

I worked hard on this tonight, so I will share as a “save the date”.Any of my blog friends are more than welcome to come!:

Blowouts....

Another thing I noticed in my 2010 Blurb book is that I have hardly any pictures of me or posts dedicated to me or my happenings. I don't know why this is really. I guess I would rather not be in the spotlight.

So today it is ALL about me and my "blowouts" hehe.....

The first blowout is this:



I have been wanting a Brazilian Blowout for ages. (I know...it sort of sounds like a nasty/naughty procedure!) You can read about it here: http://brazilianblowout.com/ They offered it on the cruise, but it was way too much money. I couldn't find anyone in town certified to do it. There are plenty of knock offs, but I wanted the real thing. So I was super excited when my friend Heidi's sister came into town from AZ. She did a great job, and I am SO excited to have normal hair! It takes NO time at all to blow dry and style. The after picture below is only from round brushing...so just imagine how much nicer it looks when I flat iron it. It lasts 12 weeks...and so I need to start saving up for next time! I have one thick head of unruly curly hair, so this is perfect for me.

My next blowout is this:



The pictures don't really do it justice...and the bruising has spread since then. I also couldn't figure out how to take a picture of the damage on the bottom of my foot. I wish I could tell you an awesome adventure story about how this happened...but the truth is I just stepped out of bed and SNAP...broken foot. I guess that is a sign that either I am getting old and fragile...or if I am that fat that just stepping on my foot breaks it then I need to lose some weight!

The Dr. wanted to cast it, but after discussing my huge claustrophobia concerns....he made me promise to wear a walking cast and crutches. I am a naughty naughty girl....and so far the cast has been on about half the time and I "forgot" to got get the crutches. What was that about not wanting attention on myself!?!

Anyways, I am finally getting into the routine of the new year. It has been so nice to be back on schedule. Today worked out nicely. All 3 kids were at school and I was able to run errands, go to lunch with G.J., and go to the temple. I am even home in time to blog and relax before Kayler gets off the bus. It is just what I needed!

Have a wonderful week!

Another Motto to Live By....

Wow! I can't believe we are already headed into week #2 of the new year!

We haven't had lots going on. Just getting back into life after the holidays and trying hard not to freeze to death. You know it is cold when the 22 degrees today feels like a tropical vacation after the -30 nights we have been having! Despite the cold...G.J. being the good daddy that he is has taken our kids sledding on a hill in front of our house...no matter the temperature, they have had fun!:



I saw a quote on the front of our sacrament meeting program today:

“Your future is not determined by the conditions around you. It is determined by your faith, your choices, and your efforts.”

It hit me so very hard...so along with improving my attitude for the new year, I am having this quote as my motto as well.

I need to apologize to all my blog readers. I probably owe an apology to many more people than that...but let me explain....

I just had my 2010 blog printed into a book at blurb.com It was only as I sat back and reflected on my 2010 posts that I realized that I was a HUGE Debbie Downer...Negative Nellie....whatever you want to call me. I had hardly any positive posts. It was all a bunch of emotional vomit typing...for lack of better explanation! I am so sorry I ranted and raved the way I did. Even though I did go through some hard times last year, and obviously typing it was the only way to feel better-I need to try so much harder to have a positive outlook on life. We only have one life to live, and I can't stand to watch another miserable year go by. I can't say that bad things won't happen, and that I won't shed tears of frustration, but things are going to be better...and I can't wait to report and record them!

Moving on. Tonight we had a birthday party to celebrate the birthdays of 4 of the most important boys in my life! My husband, my son, my dad, and my brother! My parent's are headed to Brazil on a Book of Mormon Tour and won't be here for anyone's birthday this month. So we celebrated with dinner and a birthday celebration!:



Happy Birthday Boys! And Happy Birthday to the other 12 people that I love and care about that celebrate in January as well!

1-1-11

I meant to fit one more post in before 2010 ended....but such is life, and so I am a day late.

Mollee is growing every day. She has such a cute personality. She is definitely still a puppy, but nonetheless fitting in quite nicely. Having an indoor dog isn't quite as bad as I had imagined it.:



Speaking of dogs....doesn't this picture make you think, “How much is that Doggy in the Window?” Kayler is going through a “nude” phase. His only accessory sometimes is the dog's sweater thing (that she never wears...):



We went to my parent's house for a day in the fresh snow on Wednesday. It was quite the busy and eventful day with all of my cousins showing up!:





I had been promising the kids that I would take them ice skating. Truth be told I hate all winter activities with a passion. You would never know that as a child/teen I LOVED to ski...and did so quite often. Now that I am an old woman....I hate all things snow related. I hate the cold because it makes my bones hurt and skin crack. I hate snow clothes because they make me VERY claustrophobic. I hate the way snow feels under my feet....especially now that it is frozen freakin' solid and is not so fun and fluffy....

Anyways...nuff said, we went ice skating and they loved it! I just loved that they let a big girl like me use an ice walker!:





For New Year's I was having a very bah-humbug party pooper attitude. We had talked with a couple sets of friends about doing things...but then I decided to bag it and do nothing at all. I truthfully wanted a quite night and to fall asleep at 9 p.m. My parents convinced us that a night of food and fun at their house was in order....so we agreed. I don't know what it is about hanging out with family versus friends, but I am just able to relax a little more.

We ate, played games, watched a movie....and all 3 of my kids made it to 12:00 + a little while. My mom was convinced we were all going to sleep over. I really dislike sleeping at other peoples houses....so we left the older 2 kids there along with my brother and his family and G.J., Kayler and I came home to sleep. Kayler took still another hour or so to crash...and I was still going strong at 2. And there I thought I was going to be lazy and not enjoy the holiday.....???

Here are a few pictures from the night. One of the highlights was playing Just Dance 2...which was SO fun, and hilarious to boot. I think my little Gavin got into quite nicely. Kayler danced in the nude....due to his little phase going on. Hallie and my nephew and niece Kolby and Rachael loved it too!:







So here is to a new year. I love the fresh feeling a New Year presents itself. I will be honest...2010 was not my favorite. It wasn't any certain horrible or drastic thing that made it bad...just a mix of a whole bunch. My ONLY resolution of 2011 is just to make the best of each day and each situation I can....Attitude is everything.