Answers...

This morning was one of the most exhausting things I think I have had to go through in a very long time. Kayler was evaluated for over 3 hours by the Children With Special Health Care Needs Clinic from Salt Lake. It was done here in Vernal. He had a complete meltdown during the first part of his evaluation, so we had to leave, where we spent a few minutes getting a snack, sitting in front of the temple and crying and praying(on my part)-and then we returned back to the testing and finished the evaluation. After returning home a few hours ago, I debated greatly about whether or not to post about this, but finally decided that I would, just so at least the people who read my blog will understand.
I have posted several times about my troubles and worries about my sweet little guy. If you need a refresher, here are just some of the links. http://mylittlefamilyof5.blogspot.com/2008/08/so-so-frustratedneed-help.html http://mylittlefamilyof5.blogspot.com/2008/06/2.html
Anyways, the struggles have still continued. He really dislikes being around other people. He is very aggressive towards anyone for no certain reason. He bites, hits, has full blown tantrums when things don’t go his way. This is just a small fraction of some of his problems.
I have had several people tell me things like: “It is just the terrible 2’s” “He just needs a nap” “You are over-reacting, nothing is wrong with him” “He will grow out of it” “Maybe you should hit or bite him back”……..etc.etc.etc. The list could go on and on. People are more than happy to tell you their advice because it is not THEM going through it.
Kayler was a very good baby, and it wasn’t until his 2nd birthday that I realized something might be wrong. At first, I was like all the others and thought that it was just the terrible 2’s. After awhile, my education in early childhood development, but more importantly my motherly instinct told me it was something much more that.
Today I finally got the answer. Asperger’s Syndrome. If you want to read about it, go here, http://health.yahoo.com/children-behavior/asperger-s-syndrome-topic-overview/healthwise--zq1009.html or just Google it. Most of the symptoms fit him to a “T”. There are as with most disorders or syndromes some things he may or may not do, but after 3 hours with all the therapists, psychologists’, etc., they were 100% positive that this was what he has. Of course, we are getting a second opinion on Dec. 9th at Primary Children’s Mental Health Care Center. Even though I really feel the diagnosis is accurate, I always like to double check.
Now I am back tracking a little bit. We had a lady move into our ward almost a year ago-Jill. Something instinctively told me to go sit by her on her first week at Relief Society. The spirit whispered, “she is someone special, and she will be your friend.” I rarely-if ever have strong feelings like that, but even so, I kind of brushed it aside. Well this past spring, she and her husband were invited to be in the temple class G.J. and I was teaching. I believe her and her husband have been through the temple, the bishop just wanted them in the class to help out with those we were trying to teach. Again the spirit told me that I would need her. After the class, I found out that she had a 7 year old son named Connor that had full blown autism. This was right around the time that I was starting to have concerns with Kayler.
Anyways, moving forward a little bit more. One day she called me and said that she had been having the feeling for days that she needed to call and offer me these videos she had about autism (which Asperger’s is in the autism spectrum) She has been to several training courses dealing with her son. The videos really helped me. Well today after getting the diagnosis, she was the first person I called, because I truly felt she would be the only one who could truly understand my feelings. The first thing she said-and she said it in all sincerity and honesty was, “Lucky, lucky you-to have been chosen to take care of one our Heavenly Fathers most special spirits.” Of course I am not feeling so lucky, special, or prepared in any way to deal with the challenges the lie ahead. But-she is more than 5 years into her journey, and she has “been there, done that” with her sweet little boy who is much worse off than Kayler is by far. She is truly a saint, and I so grateful that she came into my life at this time, and I know that I will need her help, support, and encouragement. Along with her, one of my closest friend's son who is in the 5th grade found out he has High Functioning Autism, which is closely related to Asperger’s, and they just moved into our ward as well. Those 2 things alone really testify that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing, he is looking out for me, and that he loves me-and that I will never be alone.
I know that there are going to be several people reading this, or several people who find out in our family and friends’ circle who are still going to be judgmental, who won’t understand, and who quite frankly won’t give a damn. I have to try very very hard to push what everyone else thinks right out the window, and focus on the people who truly do care and want to help. I am going to do my very best to help Kayler become as normal and happy as possible. I believe with all my heart that he will be just fine with time and lots of love and direction from G.J. and I-along with anyone else who comes in contact with him. A lot of prayers on his behalf would help too. So PhEw! That was quite the post. I hope everyone has a great day; I am going to have myself a nap-I am pooped…I promise I will keep you posted on his achievements and success.