"2"

Well, exhausted is all I can say about me…emotionally, physically, mentally, hmm, what else is there. I tried to get to the root of my exhaustion. I thought the summer heat, busy summer, 3 kids, one dog, one husband, church, work, kid’s activities, etc was the source. Although those things do play a part, I knew it was something different. After the past few days, I know EXACTLY what the root of my problem is-Kayler.Kayler is 2…need I say more. He is SO cute, and precious in every way. BUT, he is SO SO SO busy, and makes me SO SO SO tired. I remember my other kids being busy at this age, but I don’t think anything could have prepared me for having such a rambunctious toddler. He is into everything. He always is doing a “woops” as he calls it. He doesn’t eat well, doesn’t sleep well, doesn’t obey well, and throws a fit at the drop of a hat. I am constantly figuring ways to make him happy and avoid a tantrum. I feel that sometimes I do this at the expense of my other kid’s happiness. They are constantly having to give up their toys, treats, etc to make him happy. I think what made me finally snap and decide to blog about this was an occurrence last night. We had a ward party. We got our food, sat down to eat, but NO, Kayler did not want to eat, and he wanted to run around in the parking lot of the church. Well, after a few minutes of fighting, I freaked out, and we left. My older kids were so sad, and I felt SO guilty for making them leave, but I just couldn’t handle it.

I think one of the main problems with his frustrations other than him being 2 is that he doesn’t talk all that well. It was be easier if he would tell me what he wants, and then I could reason with him. Nope, he just screams and fights me. We work on his language and even sign language all the time through the Prime Time for Kids program he is enrolled in. Today at his Kindermusik class, he was the only boy. He was one of the oldest too. Yet, he was the worst behaved BY FAR. I know that little boys are more busy and further behind in skills than girls. Hallie spoke paragraphs by 18 months. All of the little girls in his class were only children; several of the moms were pregnant with their second child though. They all looked at me like, “oh my heck, my child will never ever act that way.” This was while Kayler was screaming, running around, throwing things, hugging their sweet little girls (a little hard), and not paying attention to class. We had a park play date after with my grandma and cousins. Did Kayler play nicely, eat his lunch, and not run away. NOPE, he had to spill his drink, not eat, run away from me a million times, and cry over everything. I came home exhausted and frustrated.

Some may ask, “Is he hungry, tired, sick, scared, lonely, overwhelmed, etc???” Maybe so, but I think I am smart enough to address those things. Some might think there are other problems. I just have to reassure myself that it is a stage. I have my degree in Family and Human Development. I KNOW what the “books” say, and what all the “theories” are about this type of behavior. What I find funny is that most of my professors in school were not married or else had NO children, as well as most the theorists. Having a naughty child or even a well behaved child is something that you cannot truly say how you will react until you do it for yourself. Motherhood is not for the weak, which I feel I am so weak lately. I just need to get over it, realize I am not alone, and be grateful that I even have kids. Along with that, some mothers have it MUCH worse than I do as they deal with autistic, handicapped, or very ill children.

So, there’s my rant for the day. I don’t think I have complained on this blog for awhile. I complain on my other private blog sometimes, but I thought that at least if someone else reading this was going through the same thing as me, they could gain comfort by knowing they are not alone. Have a good day, and wish me luck with this “terrible 2” stage.