I never would have thought...

This post is about things that I never would have thought today:
I would have never thought that so many people would respond so lovingly to my last post. Not only did I feel truly cared for, less alone, and less guilty for having those thoughts….I was SO glad to realize that I am not crazy….hehe
I would have never thought that my day could get much worse. The agenda went as follows. Hallie on bus. While that happened Kayler got in the sink in his jammies and a poopy diaper on. He proceeded to turn the water on. That meant wet jammies, soggy poopy diaper, and an already frustrated mommy at such an early time in the morning. Then the phone rang NON-STOP. That never happens to me, I can go for days with no phone calls. I had people calling for all sorts of reasons, and I really wanted to sit down and just talk, but I had so much to do. The messes with Kayler did not stop…they only got worse. I cleaned up more poop and pee, spilled cereal, broken (very expensive) lamp, books that he ripped and CHEWED up into little balls, etc.etc.etc.
My little Gav had stayed the night at my mom’s house and she brought him back to me at 10. He didn't have school today. I was trying so hard to get some laundry done, the house cleaned up a bit, and a long list of “to-do’s” accomplished. I kept hearing the words of our beloved prophet saying something about letting the things like housework etc. just wait, and to enjoy each moment with our precious kids. I wanted SO badly to do that, really I did. But for someone with diagnosed OCD cleaning habits, and an already stressed out mind, I could not for the life of me let all the things I had to do go.
I had one more phone call come from my mother in law. This was after I had bathed and dressed both boys, and sent them outside to play. Well, Kayler found the hose, drenched himself, hid his shoes and socks in the dirt, and that is when I snapped. My mother in law asked how I was doing, and usually I would reply “oh pretty good.” My reply today was “I am not doing well at all today, and you need to come get the boys right away.” I would have never thought that I would be brave enough to admit out loud to someone that I truly could not take one more second of my life at the moment, and actually ask for help. She was taken aback a little, but a few minutes later she showed up and loving took them away from me.
I was able to finish my work, go back and get Gavin and take him to his SEP conference (which he did well at! Hooray Gav!) I got home to a nice clean house, both boys fell asleep, and then I realized that Hallie had an orthodontist appointment in half an hour. So, as the theme of this post goes, I did something I never thought I would do. I called my Visiting Teacher, who is also my across the street neighbor and asked her to come sit in my living room while my boys napped. She graciously accepted, and she even told me to stay out for awhile because she “could tell I needed a break.” So I took Hallie to her appt., did some errands, got Hallie an ice cream, and headed back home.
Now I am forgetting to add that the main reason of my stress of the day came from the main thing that “I never thought” I would have to deal with. I received the news that my beloved Grandpa has cancer. It is Lymphoma, and it is bad. This is my sweet 85 year old grandpa who is stubborn as a mule, yet the kindest and most caring man alive. This is the Grandpa who has called me along with my sweet Grandma nearly every day of my married life just to "see how I am". This is the Grandpa who survived the attack at Pearl Harbor. He survived the huge mine explosion at the Bonanza mine when all the men he worked with died. He survived watching his only 2 sons die tragically. I love him so much. I thought that I would have shed a lot more tears today than I have. I just have a calming peace that everything will be o.k. I know that he will die eventually. He has lived a very full and wonderful life. I just hope he doesn’t have to suffer long. I also hope that my Grandma can join him soon after, and they can reunite in heaven with their 2 sons that have already passed on before them-along with many many others.
So you know the phrase “when it rains it pours?” Well it is so true for me right now. I have also learned yet again to “never say never.” It is those things that you never thought would happen that always do. The key is to have the faith that it is all part of the plan. The Savior does not want us to suffer, or be punished. This is just a small moment that we call life, and everything, and I mean everything will work out in the end.
I took this picture Sunday afternoon.
I am always relieved to see a rainbow. I think it is a sign of our Savior’s love, the feeling of a clean fresh start, and most of all hope….Everything will be o.k.