I love Rainy Days!

I LOVE rainy days, seriously, I do. I DO NOT LOVE snowy days or windy days. Rainy days and Sunny days are the only way to go. Today I was excited to hear the rain outside when I woke up. I love how it makes it dark and gloomy…weird I know. I like how the rain sounds on the roof, how fresh everything looks and feels, and most of all snuggling up with my hubby or kids and being lazy on a rainy day.

Anyways, moving on. I really debated about the post I am about to do. Monday is my cleaning day, and as I cleaned I went back and forth about sharing some certain details of our life. It would not leave my mind, so I decided that I was going to do it. More so because I want to look back on this time with a grateful heart more than anything. I hope to inspire anyone else in the same situation as well. Beyond that, I hope this is not taken the wrong way by anyone.

So money just sucks. Too much of it makes you bad, too little seems to make you sad. The first year G.J. and I were married, we made 9 thousand dollars. I thought we were rich, silly me. We are both very blessed to have well-off parents who both had college funds for us. That was a lifesaver. Since I had received a full ride scholarship, I got to use my college fund for a down payment on our first house. Well, the house appreciated in value quite a bit, so we had an even bigger down payment for our home we live in now. We also bought it before the market went haywire, and now our home is worth double what we purchased it for 4 years ago, and we don't have an outrageous mortgage.

Both of our parents have taught us to be very frugal with our money. Sometimes it is very tempting to be careless, but I am so grateful for what we have been taught. No, we don’t have fancy trucks, boats, ATV’s, campers, motorcycles, go on fancy vacations or cruises, and we probably never will. We have a few moments when we think, boy, that would be fun, but luckily they are only moments. I am a freak (as I am about a lot of things) about owing people money. I don’t care if it is a friend, the mortgage company, the hospital, or the trash man….I like my bills to be paid in full and on time.

It is hard living in a small town, where people think they just know everything. As far as the people living here are concerned, we live in a super fancy house, drive nice cars, and wear nice clothes because of our parents. That is SO not true. They have been very good to us, but we have our OWN mortgage and pay our OWN bills. I think that both of our parents are very in tune. They can tell when money gets tight and I can’t tell you how many times our parents have said, “Hey, here's a hundred dollars, or hey, we bought extra groceries or food storage, do you guys need some?” For those moments I will always be eternally grateful. They are so good to us. I am so stubborn and I guess prideful that I want to do it ALL ALONE.

We are on a strict budget. We don’t have lots of credit cards, outstanding debts, or extremely expensive hobbies. We only owe on our house, that is it. I am constantly worried about money, though I let very few people know. I rarely even let G.J. know. I control the finances, and I do show him every month how things are, but he never gets too concerned being the faithful optimistic fellow he is. I rarely let friends or family know either. As far as most people are concerned, we have money to spare and are doing great. G.J.’s job is wonderful, but has very average pay,---- not the 60, 70, or hundreds of thousands a year like some people have thought. We are extremely blessed, as I said before, but there are times when we have had to eat our food storage for weeks. There are times when we have scraped together spare change to go get the kids an ice cream cone. Right now is one of those times

It truly seems that just when we feel like we are top of things, something bad happens. I was very optimistic as I was planning a budget for the year. Then Kayler had his hospital stay, and I had some health things go on and that used up our entire tax refund. Having nearly no money in savings really scares me. Well, I looked throughout the year at the major expenses such as: car registration and ins., birthdays, school clothes and lunch money, piano lessons, Christmas, and the unexpected expenses, and I got so worried. I considered for just a moment to get a job. We tried to think of ways G.J. could pull in more money. Nothing seemed to go right. I paid our tithing, which I have always been faithful about, all our bills, bought a little food storage, and hoped that things would be ok for awhile.

Well, a few weeks ago in church, our bishop really stressed the importance of buying food storage. He is even having our young men and women do the canning for us. I wanted desperately to have enough money to buy a complete years supply for all 5 of us, but I knew that was not an option. So, with a leap of faith, I took an inventory of what we already have, and then looked at the guidelines for a year supply, and ordered what we needed to have a complete years supply for one person. That would be like 3 months for our whole family. I didn’t know where the money would come from, but I knew it would be ok.

Last Friday, I was paying bills. There wasn’t much left after, and I just said a silent prayer that things would be ok. I watched conference, and I have to admit I was in a pretty bad mood all weekend. I noticed a lot of talks were on faith, testimonies, and tithing. The end talk that the prophet gave lifted my spirits a lot, and I went to bed hopeful. I woke up to a wonderful phone call, truly an answer to my prayers. It was a lady from the hospital saying that the insurance had just called and told her they had made a mistake on paying on our claims. So we didn’t owe nearly as much as anticipated. The difference was exactly how much we had needed to buy our food storage. I got so choked up as I realized that everything will always be ok. We might not have the fanciest stuff or get to do the funnest things, but we will always have enough, and that is all that matters. We have had several, and I mean several miracles just like this happen. I know it is because of paying our tithing and just having faith. There are my weak moments, and I know that there will always be hard times ahead, but I know if I just keep it all together it will work out.

My friend Mandy told me I had been getting really “deep” in my posts lately, which I totally agree with. It has actually been so helpful for me to type all my thoughts out and realize that I am not alone through the comments people leave. I have become my very own therapist! I am actually a very private person, I don't like others to know of my stuggles, I rarely show much emotion, and I have had a lot of people say that I just seem “so perfect” or that we have the “perfect little family”. I hope that through reading this (if those people ever do…) will realize that nobody is perfect ever, no matter how things look from the outside looking in. I also did not want to seem ungrateful in any way, because we are blessed even through our trials. I also did not want this to be a pity party or poor poor me sympathy post. I just know that everyone has struggles and rough times, some much worse than others, and we are NEVER alone and someone ALWAYS has it worse off and that we all need to be grateful for what we DO have. I hope you all have a great day!