So this is a very random thought of mine, and I am ashamed to admit that it doesn’t happen all that often. I had to record it while the feelings and emotions are still somewhat fresh.
Yesterday I was driving down the road with all 3 kids in their carseats. I just had this overwhelming feeling of how much I truly love my kids. Of course I always have a love for them, but for some reason, out of the blue, I felt an immense love for them.
Motherhood has not been the easiest thing for me. Becoming a mom at 17 didn’t help matters out much. Me being a perfectionist doesn’t help either. It has been a rocky road with lots of things that make my “perfect” idea of how my family should be seem like such a failure.
I have mentioned it before, but this is the first year that I feel that things are really falling together. I finally know how to balance it all. It is still tricky. Everything that we go through with each of our kids, especially Kayler is not the funnest. I still get tired, overwhelmed, feel like I can’t go on, etc… I feel like I have grown more this past year than ever before. My level of patience is much higher than I ever could have hoped for. The love I have for G.J. and the true appreciation for all he does for me and the kids could never be stronger.
This weekend G.J., Kayler and I will be headed to SL for some Christmas shopping (hence leaving Hallie and Gavin home-Kayler won’t realize we are buying “Christmas” stuff), going to see the lights at Temple Square (which I have never done), and Kayler has another evaluation on Monday. It is going to be a much needed getaway on so many levels. We will be staying with my brother and his wife, which is always a ton of fun. I am super super nervous about Kayler’s evaluation Monday. The last one was a disaster. I just keep telling myself that it will be ok if he flips out…at least they get to see how he truly acts a lot of the time.
I am so excited for this Christmas season. I have a beautiful nativity set that I just love.
I earned it when I did the At Home America party with Whitney a couple months ago. Kayler just loves it, and is so mesmerized by it. He insists on holding the “baby” and kissing it a million times. At first I kept getting mad at him, but then I realized that I need to chill-it is special to him, and that is all that matters.
So there you have it. I am so grateful that I have 3 beautiful, smart, happy, and healthy kids. Have a great day-and give your kids a hug, being a mom is the best!
16 comments:
wonderful sweet post Kandice. Have fun in SL. The lights are beautiful.
Copy that! Being a mother is the most wonderful, exhausting, emotional roller coaster of life. It is funny you posted that because just this morning I was overwhelmed by the fact that my baby relies on me for everything, and trusts me with everything! Me being so imperfect, how can I do it without screwing up royaly! I hope I can be a great mommy like u!
Ditto!!! I think that the holiday season does that to us! But also - there have been a lot of reminders that tell us we shouldn't take what we have for granted! Enjoy every minute!!!
Girl you are awesome!! And you are a wonderful mother. Just know that!!!
And don't worry about the evalution. It will go how it needs to go!!! Take care my dear. Drive safe
I think those moments where our love really hits us are a gift from Heavenly Father. So often we just go through the mundane tasks, feeling exhausted and unappreciated. But then we get those awesome moments where we truly realize our love for our kids, and we can feel re-energized and re-committed to being the best moms we can be. Glad you had one today. (:
Good luck with the evaluation on Monday. I will keep you guys in my prayers that the doctors will be guided & know how to best help Kayler. And that you will be able to feel at peace about it and enjoy your weekend alone with Kayler & GJ. I love ya!
It's so great to get that overhwheliming feeling every now and then, it makes plugging on and doing it every day so worth it! There's nothing more amazing than those kiddos. And you seem to just be so good at the job. You will be so thought of on Monday with Kayler, good luck, can't wait to hear how it goes!
beautiful post.
i love you.
Oh that was so nice to read. You are a good mom. Good Luck with Kayler. I will be thinking about your family.
We saw the lights on Thanksgiving weekend. They are amazing as usual. All my kids cared about was riding the cho-cho. Which is Trax! They are so funny.
Sorry I haven't been blogging lately- I have been looking for places to live and such.
I hope I can get my blog updated today.
Great post, thanks for sharing. Miss ya~
Wow! I had no idea that there where other mom's out there that felt the same way that I do! You are an amazing person Kandice. I hope that we can keep in touch. Maybe after the holidays I'll have you and GJ over for dinner or something! Take care and thanks for sharing your personal thoughts and feelings with us! Love ya! P.S. We just got back from Vegas and boy was it fun. :)
You are an amazing mom too. That is what is so special about your post. You always put your kdis first and thye are so lucky to have you as their mother. Good luck out in SL. I hope everything goes well. Love ya!
Kandice,
I am continually amazed at you!! You are such an awesome mom, wife, and person. I have loved being able to read your posts and get to know you all over again. I love it. Good luck on Monday, everything will work out. You and GJ are so strong and you will help eachother through this and help your family. You guys are great!! GOOD LUCK! BE SAFE!!
Yes I am commenting again, I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you today and your little guy! Hope everything goes well.
That is the cutest picture of your kids! And I have that very same Nativity! I HAD TO HAVE IT WHEN I SAW IT! I sell the stuff... not very faithfully tho ;)
BTW... the appointment is going to be great... things always seem to turn out the way they are supposed too. Let me know what the results are!
You are an awesome mom Kandice! Thanks for the post. I love the picture of the kids and the nativity is beautiful. Have a great day!
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