This past week has been wonderful. Too often I find myself struggling in so many ways. Physically I fight the problems of eating healthy and finding time to exercise. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I too often find myself just fighting to keep my head above water to meet the demands placed upon me as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc. Regrettably….I more often than not just have bad days. I need to record the feelings and experiences I have had this past week because I am so grateful that I have had them.
Sure, my kids still fought…still made messes…I still had the same work to do, but my attitude was much different, and after an experience this morning, I know why. I am going to recap the experiences of this week:
Monday: Was my precious little girls 9th birthday. I had so much fun watching her excitement and celebrating her birthday with my family.
Tuesday: I was lucky enough to have a sweet husband who would stay home with my boys so I could go on a girl’s trip with Hallie and my mom, sister in law, and niece. We had such a fun/safe time.
Wednesday: I got to go shopping….simple enough right?- but I mainly had fun watching Hallie with her birthday money. She suddenly seemed grown up and mature as she chose clothes and toys and saved some of her money to spend later.
Thursday: I cleaned my house….really good. Sounds lame to most people, but it meant a lot to me to change the bedding, do the laundry, ironing, clean the whole house top to bottom. It was so refreshing. Also that day I had a few phone calls with my good friend Candace. It was just what I needed. That night Hallie got to go for a fun evening at her cousin Alli’s house, and G.J. and I and our boys enjoyed an evening at home and at my parent’s house.
Friday: I was a good mommy and I got out our Halloween decorations and let my kids do the decorating. They were so cute, and had so much fun. After that we went to my Grandpas house to clean and do laundry. Kayler fell asleep, and Hallie and Gavin played on his farm. I enjoyed cleaning his house and spending time with him. My dad came and got Hallie and Gavin and took them fishing for the rest of the afternoon, and I was able to relax. That night G.J. was so kind again to watch my kids while I went out with Mandy. We hadn’t done anything forever. It is so refreshing to me that we can not see or talk to each other for weeks and weeks, yet we can pick up where we left off and have a great time. We did dinner, a movie, and clearance rack shopping at Maurice’s and Wal-Mart…and we both found some great things!
Saturday: We had an enjoyable morning of torturing our poor little boys and getting their flu shots. They did pretty good, but now we have one little boy with a sore arm and one little boy with a sore leg. Now our whole family has had the flu shot….so lets pray for a healthy winter. After that we went to my parent’s for a fun/relaxing day watching conference. We ate lots of yummy food including hot dogs, kettle chips, candy, pork roast, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin roll, amongst many other things. The kids played outside in the beautiful fall weather. It was just nice to be out of our house for awhile. Gavin stayed the night with my parents, and I took Hallie to Wal-Mart to finish spending her birthday money. She was so cute choosing clothes…which is new for her, she usually does toys, but things are changing, and I am so excited to have a clothes shopping buddy! After we got home, we had a SUPER fun bubble bath in our swimsuits in my big jetted tub:
Sunday (today): We all woke up super late….like 9:30 late. It was so nice to wake up to the beautiful rain. I turned on the T.V. to conference. In that instant, I had a flood of emotion hit me. I am going to include an excerpt from my blog exactly 6 months ago:
“Today I went to my Grandmas. She is in full Alzheimer’s mode. It was terrible…absolutely terrible to watch. She didn’t even recognize me. I tried to watch conference, visited my parents, and got the news that my other Grandma was sick as well. Must be the bad weather causing all this bad stuff right???”
In that post I didn’t give the exact details of the terrible day my Grandma had. But this morning my mind was just filled with vivid memories of that day….memories that I had tried to suppress for so long. I started crying, and I just couldn’t stop. I sobbed harder than I had since the night I learned that my Grandma had died. It felt like all those emotions I had bottled up about everything in my life suddenly were fresh at the surface. My sweet husband brought me a cinnamon roll in bed, and I just cried and cried while I watched conference, listened to the music along with the rain outside, and tried to make sense of why I was suddenly so sad.
All of the sudden, the sun peeked through the clouds, and I felt a sense of calm and peace come over me and my home. I will take it as a gesture from heaven…which my Grandma may have had a part in. I know with all my heart that she is happy and o.k., and I will be happy and o.k. too. Life is not easy. It is often filled with uncertainty and dread. It is weeks like this that renew me and make me realize my blessings. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and all that it encompasses. I am extremely blessed to have such a wonderful husband, kids, family, and friends. For this blog I am grateful too…. I can record times like this so in more difficult times I can look back and remember how lucky and blessed I am.
10 comments:
Sounds like an eventful week. What cute kids you have and a cute family. I still tend to have times where when I remember things about my grandma and grandpa, I still get emotional. I am so thankful for those memories. It will get easier but takes time. Glad you have had a lot of time and a safe week. We really need to do dinner and games again soon!!
Isn't it need to have a Heavenly Father who loves us, knows us, and gives us tender mercies. I'm glad you were able to just let your emotions slide today-that's not easy. Thanks for being my friend and helping me through my hard times. Love you!
I wish I lived closer to you. Hugs
love and miss you
Glad you had such a great week! Reading this post makes me want to go and clean everything in my whole house!!! That is SOOO refreshing! I've had a long weekend and that would be the perfect way to wind down!! Your blog is always so inspiring to read! Thanks! So... Thursday??
Thanks for your post, it was so sweet. It is nice to know that I am not the only person who feels that way. Life isn't easy, but the sun does shine us when we need it to!
I am so glad you had a little miracle moment to help you find some peace. Heavenly Father is awesome that way.
Thank you for calling me that day even though you had had a rough morning! It was so nice to talk and know that someone cares.(:
I have been taking all your advice...and made some progress but not enough to be induced just yet. I'll keep it up, though.
Love ya!!
You touched my heart Kandace.
It was good that you released all those emotions and aren't we so lucky to have the knowledge that she IS happy now and you WILL get to see her again.
Thanks for posting this...I really needed it! :) It's hard to move on but it's refreshing and peaceful to know what we know, that they are happy where they are and that we'll see them again.
That's amazing, and you are such a good Mom! It's really hard to not take things for granted, and it sounds like your week was completely opposite of that, way to go!! :)
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