How is it that I am always the one that posts the deepest darkest concerns that most of us have but are never brave enough to talk about?? Is it because we are all afraid of being judged for having these problems/fears? Well judge away my 97 private blog readers….and remember the one word in that sentence “judge” …
I am totally kidding….but I just need and want my blog to be a place where I can totally vent and feel accepted and loved and not have people be thinking…. “well who does she think she is?” That is the last thing I need at this point! I love every one of you and truly appreciate those who take the time to leave me the nice sweet comments that you do!
So today’s topic is budgeting. What a dreadful topic…I know. But I know it is something that we all think about every day. It has been weighing upon me so heavily for the past 6 months or so. You would think that with G.J. having a city job and all that the oil bust would not have an impact. Well…it does. When the sales tax revenue goes down 70% that means NO cost of living raise or increase whatsoever for him. So we are making the same amount we have been for the past like…forever. And when things keep costing more and more to live, and our kids keep costing more and more to raise…that equals trouble.
I have always considered myself a pretty budget organized person. I am the one in charge of the money in our house. G.J. does play a role in it. I show him where it is all going and let him help make decisions and all that.
I have a lot of let’s say “anger” when it comes to money. Living in a small town people always have an idea of your financial status based on the family that you come from. G.J.’s parents are somewhat well off…but they are not “rich” by any means. My parents have money, but it is all in a very secured savings that they can’t just blow any time they want. My dad hasn’t had a lot of work lately due to the oilfield…so they don’t have a lot of money to just hand out. And besides that, I don’t want our parents to just hand over money all the time when we are struggling. We are the adults here…and I am stubborn and want to do it ourselves.
Let me give you a run down of where our money goes…..and if you can see ANYWHERE where we could save money…..please tell me….because I am at a loss here.
Tithing
Mortgage
Car Insurance
Power Bill
Natural Gas
Cable/ Internet
Life Insurance
Phone
Cell Phone
Trash
Water
Gasoline
Groceries
Miscellaneous
Dr. Bills
Hallie Piano
Savings-if there is any left….which isn’t often
So…I guess that is pretty bold to put our expenses out there on the world wide web…even if it is to my 97 private blog readers. Let me just say on a few things: we have the smallest cable package, smallest phone package, and smallest cell phone. I have called on all the other things to make sure we are getting the best rate. I also do LOTS of things to save on groceries. I have considered cancelling cable and internet, cell phone, life insurance, and Hallie’s piano but I am not so sure I could or should do without some of those, we will have to see.
I think the things that are getting us is the Miscellaneous and the Dr. bills…because they vary from month to month. So do you see anything that we could change??? We don’t have credit cards. No car payments. No huge mortgage. We are paying our tithing…
I guess the key is to be grateful that G.J. has a job….that we can pay our bills, and that we aren’t WAY into debt. It just gets hard when the kids start asking for things that I know we can’t afford….and when we try to explain it to them and they want to know exactly WHY.
Then Christmas is approaching and I am thinking…..we are supposed to buy Christmas on “x” much money???? Let me also mention that I know that our situation is not unique in ANY way, and that 99.9% of people reading this are having at least some of the same problems.
I know whoever is my facebook friend saw that I am going back to school for my teaching degree. It was all sort of fast. I had reached an all time low when I had applied for a custodian position at the new clothing store Bealls…and I don’t think I got the job. I decided that I had to do something for a job that I could be gone when my kids were, and that I could actually use my education. So I am more than half way finished with my degree. I start back up in the spring. I will be honest. I HATE going to college. I get so stressed out about it. I don’t like it at all. I can just think about the smell of the college and get nauseous. But…it will be for the better of my family. Hopefully by the time I get my degree, our financial situation will have improved and I won’t have to work. But….if it hasn’t, I will be set, and I will be able to provide where we are lacking.
So to everyone else who is in the same boat as us, good luck, I love you….and I hope that your situation improves too!
14 comments:
I hear ya! hang in there. I think your doing great!
I wish I had the magic answer, but I don't. I think you are doing the best you can do, and the most important thing is your tithing. I know that the lord will make sure you have what you NEED. Sometimes that is what is hard for us, our needs may be much different than we think they are. keep it up girl, you are great!
I think you are doing your best, what more can you ask? Right? Sometimes I feel bad that I'm working part time, even though I take Ethan with me... but you do what you have to do to survive. Keep you the great work!
I know you know part of what we have been going through so I'll just tell you the thoughts that keep running through my mind lately...the biggest and most powerful has been "sustain life, not lifestyle" and that has greatly affected my decision making when $ is involved...even in the simplest aspects like piling errands into one big trip to save on gas, using my car instead of the gas guzzling truck when driving to Tridell to visit inlaws...etc...
This Sunday I was SOSOSOSO upset with myself because I thought for sure I had done something wrong somewhere along the line that was causing my family this much stress, and I was kindly reminded that even though Joseph Smith was doing EVERYTHING right, he never had a steady income, he never knew if he would be home with his family or in jail or running from someone, or where he would be or what he would be doing from day to day, but he stayed faithful till the end and I just have to remilnd myself of that. all we can do is our best, and if the Lord sees fit to test us even further than maybe we will just have to step it up a notch and show ourselves just how much we can take and then look back at how blessed we have been. I honestly can't see how we have make it this far--the $ doesn't add up, and yet we still have our house, we both have jobs, we have family and friends willing to help with our kids, food on our table...
YOu are an amazing example and someone I look up to and think aobut often...and though it may not seem like much coming from me, it seems to me that you are doing your best and somehow things will work out. All we can do is our best and another thought (I think from stake conf.?)something like, "I'd rather live on 90% with the Lord's blessings than on 100% without." Obviously not that tithing is an issue, it's jsut something that has stuck with me-that as long as we pay our tithing, we will have the blessings. that may not mean an actual dollar amount increase, but we will be blessed and I'm going to stick with living with the blessings no matter how poor dollar wise we become :) This turned out to be a long spill...sorry, feel free to delete! Luv ya!
I know food storage isn't really the issue here, but just a little story to give you hope. I heard it at women's confrence.
This took place just a few years ago.
This women's husband had lost his job and NO income was coming in. They were living on there food storage.
Infact, She was down to her last little bit of flower and when she went to get a cup she noticed there was only a few cups left and it had weivel.
That was the last straw for her she broke down and cried and begged heavenly father to take over and protect them.
When she went to get flower the next day the weivel was gone and for the next three months of using the flower daily. The flower level stayed the same!
My point is your doing what is right and you and your family WILL be protected! So hang in there!
I should email you but I'll just post here. First, I think you are doing everything right. You answered all my suggestions I was going to give. Brian I have tried to cut it by comparing rates on all insurances and have made several switches to get cheaper ones. We've put me on his cellphone plan so we share minutes. We don't have cable-just bunny ears. BUT.....other than that I have no ideas. And as always you are light years ahead of me having already done those things. Side jobs are always nice but hard to do (cleaning, babysitting,etc.) Get a word out there though for certain situations (like Christmas). Maybe something short term can make you feel better. I can't do a budget. I've told you before but I'm not exaggerating. Our bills ALWAYS exceed our income. Yet, somehow someway we make it. I strongly believe it's because we pay our tithing. I'm just so grateful for our gospel and knowing in life we are "rich" in what really matters. The knowledge of this church. I'm proud of you for trying to do things on your own but don't be so stubborn you are hurting yourself. That's what family & friends are for. You're doing AWESOME!!! I'll have to give you some ideas for Christmas. I've been brainstorming cheap ideas for CHristmas because budget is a problem here. I'm excited for you to go back to school. I think that is a wise decision. I LOVED teaching and being apart of the school system. "Our" personalities don't quite fit the mold but I know you'll make it work. Wow!!! So many thoughts on my mind.....just hang in there.
I'm so excited for you to go back to school. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the smell of the college, though! You will be awesome, and it will be worth it in the end, even if you don't end up having to work.
So what kind of teaching are you thinking about?
As for the budget, I know it is so hard to cut costs when you aren't paying for a lot of extras. It's no fun! We ended up cutting cable, and I thought I would die, but I actually love it. We only have like 5 channels. So I get a LOT more stuff done because there is nothing to watch on TV. My house is cleaner, Nevie gets more quality time, I read more, etc. And we still have Internet, so if there's a show I really want to watch, I can watch it on Hulu or something after Nevie's in bed. Of course, cutting out cable might not even save you much, depending on how much you are paying now.
Anyway, keep doing what you're doing. You will be okay. You are doing all you can and being careful and thoughtful about your budget. It will work out!
Whatever you do do not cancel your life insurance...cell phone and whatever else you were considering do that first. But DO NOT cancel life ins. When it comes to your kids maybe you could come up with a plan if it's something they want that costs lots of money...make a plan for them to pay for part of it or show them how long it will take to save for it. I know exactly how you feel though we have the same worries and they seem to be getting worse. Call me and we can brainstorm christmas ideas together!
girl, you keep paying your tithing and things will be fine! I know you don't have the extra finances you'd prefer, but sometimes that can't all be the case. GJ does what he feels is best for you and you are able to pay for all that without much debt, do you know how awesome that is especially in this day and age!! I can tell you all this cause I've been there too. Still am. But before there was a time I couldn't pay for even what was on your list. I had to pick and choose which to pay and then it got even worse. You are blessed. The things with the kids wanting stuff. They don't NEED it!! Yes they won't fully understand especially cause all the other kids get what they want, but one day the kids will appreciate it. I promise!! I wasn't raised with much. I think I grew up with a handful of toys and ones from DI but that was it. Its okay Kandice!! You're a little worry wart!! You honestly are so lucky to not have alot of debt right now cause most america does and they won't be getting out of it. please don't get rid of life insurance. That is something that could or could not be used, but that is a pretty small payment. My sister in law is doing something AMAZING with coupons. I know coupons are annoying but give me a call and I'll tell you what she does. For example. The deluxe mac and cheese was on sale. She went to ebay got coupons for it. With the coupons if she bought 2 she got a free bbq sauce and then with the bbq sauce she got a free chocolate bar. She ended up buying 40 mac and cheese, 20 bbq sauces and how ever many choco bars and spent 20$. Hang in there girl. Come over to my house and we can have some hot cocoa and vent!! Love ya!
my parents get the newspaper, so i go get there sunday paper coupons. it takes a little extra time to go through them and adjust your shopping list to what you can get on sale. but it saves us enough money in a month to pay for our internet bill. especially if it is on sale at the store and you have a coupon. you can also get lots of coupons online. i don't know if that is anything you are interested in but when we have been strapped it has helped.
i love your honesty.. didnt know you were going back to school I have thought about it too.
my sister and sister-in-laws do coupon shopping and they save heaps. it takes ages, but it will be well worth your time. de'dy told me of a shopping she did that came to over $200 and she paid $30. Look into it.
If only money wasn't necessary to survive???!!!! It can be so frustrating. I remember when Vake and I moved to NZ, we only had about $900 to start out with over there. Let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. We stayed with family until we could afford a deposit for an apartment and rent. And then we moved to Aussie, I thought we had saved enough money for the move to start over here. Boy was I wrong. By the time we bought a car and deposits for everything, more than once our saving has gotten UNDER $1000. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced, but I know when you pay your tithing and stay out of debt you will be blessed. Bills will be paid and food will always be on your table. Those are the only two things that matter.
good luck
I LOVE that you are brave enough to talk about things that ALL of us are going through, and I think so many of us are sharing that "anger" about money, it just seems never ending. And I think you are doing an amazing job, and I think you are doing everything you are supposed to. Unfortunately it's one of those things that you just have to KEEP doing and that's the most frustrating part because you want to see a light at the end of the tunnel. But you are doing it, and you are doing it well. And like you said, there are tons of us in the same boat, so we get it. You're not alone, and for sure not judged. Just admired.
i am really behind on my blog reading so I am trying to catch up. I totally hear ya!! I wish I could find somthing to do where I wouldnt have to leave my kids but could make money. Good luck with that right!! Good luck with School and from what I read it looks like you are doing everything right. Keep up the good work.
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