"Manscaping"

So you can’t think I am the rudest person alive for doing this blog. I have been meaning to do it forever now, but I finally found the time to do it. It is poking a little fun of my sweet Georgie.

Let me just give you a little scenario of our Sundays (or any day for that fact). Since our church starts at 1:00 p.m., we have plenty of time to get ready. We have a nice breakfast, lounge around, and then it is time to get ready. We have a little lunch, and then G.J. gets in the shower (unless he has showered the night before). I clean up lunch, pack our Sunday bags, get all 3 kids bathed and dressed (he might help bathe the boys, but that is it), and then I shower myself and get my makeup and hair done. Who do you think is ready first and waiting in the car the vast majority of the time…??? ME!

My husband is running on a much slower clock than me. He likes to take time with every single thing he does. He is slower at eating, which explains why he is skinnier than me.(Did you know eating slower helps you lose weight???) I can feed myself and all 3 kids and have the dishes done and he will still be picking away at his plate. He is slower in the bathroom, if you know what I mean. I can be in and out in like 5.2 seconds. He is in there for like 25.7 minutes. He likes to take one of his “techno geek” magazines and relax. He does not fully understand the meaning of “hurry.” After 8 years, I don’t know why I even include that word in my vocabulary when speaking to him, it never works.

After he showers, he spends what seems like hours “manscaping” as I like to call it. He checks for any stray eyebrows or facial hairs. He brushes his teeth perfectly. He puts on his deodorant perfectly, because you know if you miss a spot, you might smell. He then takes a long time to get dressed because everything has to be tucked in, buttoned, snapped, zipped, and tied in a certain manner. It is a good thing that he showers at night, because in the morning the task of getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing his teeth, and putting gel in his hair takes about an hour and thirty minutes. He has to be at work at 8, and he gets up at 6:30 usually. When I was on Drill Team in high school, I had to be there at 6, guess what time I got up…?---5:30 at the earliest. I could shower, eat, and drive there in 30 minutes.

I will say that I have taught him to be on time to things and that is wonderful. I hate to be late to things, I would rather not show up if I am late. I guess why I am a tad frustrated at his slowness is because I am a very fast paced person. I guess it is the ADD in me, because I can’t seem to relax. When I get in the shower; I wash my hair as fast as I can, wash my body, and if I am lucky I shave my legs. I hop out, get dressed, do the fastest hair and makeup possible and I am good to go. Even when I try to take the time to make myself look extra special, it never works, so I figure I might as well do it the fast way. I guess that is why my Georgie is always more calm and put together looking than me-he is the beautiful one of our marriage.

I love you Georgie! I know you are going to leave a comment on here defending yourself. Trust me, I have timed you on several occasions the past 8 years, and I have proof of your slowness, and I am not exaggerating at all! I guess the phrase opposites attract runs very true in our house. Have a great day!