Poised....Prim...Proper

Poised....Prim...Proper...Are 3 words that anyone who knows me well know are words that do NOT explain me!!! Apparently I have some people fooled.

I had a funny thing happen at church today...I really wish I had visuals or pictures to provide...it would make it so much better...but since I don't, just imagine with me! I may not be Poised, Prim, or Proper-But I have always had the ability to laugh at myself. Good heck...after some of the embarrassing things that have happened to me, I have to have humor or I would die of embarrassment!

So...here is the funny. I had a busy day at church today. I had my Sunday School lesson (which did I mention how MUCH I LOVE my calling...??) I was also asked to do a presentation to the whole young women. Plus all the normal Sunday preparations...and with kids we all know that it gets a bit hectic. No big deal right??

Well, the fun started in sacrament meeting. It got near the end and I had to use the restroom SO bad...I had drank like 5 cups of water before church. So I was a bad girl and was walking out early. Well as soon as I had walked out, Hallie comes running down the hall behind me saying, “WAIT!!! Your butt is all wet!” Sure enough a sippy cup of water had spilt all over my butt.

So I go to the bathroom and I proceed to start drying that off and I hear Hallie gasp when she saw my next oopsie. I must have been REALLY hot in sacrament, because I had sweat so much that I had 2 nice sized and VERY noticeable sweat rings under my arms. That has never happened to me (didn't I say something in my previous post about being menopausal and sweaty?)

Soooo. I wadded up a WHOLE bunch of paper towels and put them under my armpits. I proceeded to do what I had originally come to the bathroom to do....and in the process, I PEED all over my nylons/tights. Don't ask me how it happened...but it did, and it was a lot.

So here I am with paper towels in my armpits, a wet but, and pee on my tights. I dried all areas off as good as I could. I definitely didn't have time to go change. I didn't have a sweater or anything to hide it. I proceed to wash my hands, and look in the mirror and realize that I had a huge piece of a sucker stuck right around my boob. Yep...very glamorous!

So I walked out of the bathroom with minutes to spare before I taught my lesson. I walked outside to hopefully “air out” a bit! Hallie was mortified to walk by me...darn pre teen ;) I started teaching my Sunday school lesson when I notice one of the little skinny girls go turn the heat ALL the way up. And then began the sweat rings again.

So I arrived to the YW room to give my speech/talk...and the woman introducing me says, “I chose Kandice to talk to you today because she handles herself and her children with such poise and is just so pleasant to watch.” This time I nearly crapped my pants with laughter....But I didn't need one more bodily fluid to deal with!

So...I happily gave my talk, and gladly came home and got all cleaned up...feeling MUCH more Poised....Prim...Proper than ever!