The Fat Kid in Class...

 I tend to blog about things that are on my mind. About 90% of the time that involves my kids...our ups and downs...traveling adventures, funnies, etc.

Tonight however...being a fat girl is on my mind. I know...I know...I am not FAT...but this little quote on pinterest summed up my thoughts:

 Once upon time....I was a "skinny" and "fit" girl. And I now that I look back on it...I worked my ASS off...literally...to get that way. I was a junior in high school...and I spent nearly 3 hours a day dancing with drill team. I had a super low BMI...super LOTS of muscle...and it felt great. What I regret most is that I still felt "fat". Even when I found out I was pregnant.....and at 5 months pregnant when my appendix burst and I checked in to the hospital at a whopping 109 lbs, somehow I still thought I was fat. Dumb girl...Dumb Girl....Because now, after 12 years of neglecting myself I realize how great I truly looked...and how badly I wish I could get even a fraction of that fit body back.

In the past...I have entered challenges with friends/family hoping to motivate me. Guess what?? It does exactly opposite. It brings out the REBEL in me. I was such a rule follower/butt kisser/teachers pet/people pleaser the first half of my life...and now I just love to break rules. You tell me to eat vegetables? Well guess what...I will eat anything BUT vegetables. Exercise??? What's Exercise?? Honestly...I am not a very good challenge taker.

It was only after my yearly visit to my good ol' gyno that I decided that things truly DO have to change...and the only one that can make that decision is ME...and I need to do it only for ME. You see....I have been having some weird hormonal issues lately...imagine that. After some blood work...it was found that my almost 29 year old body is in Peri-Menopause. I guess it should be expected since my female system pretty much gave out on me at age 26 and I no longer have a uterus and only have one ovary. My sweet Dr. Williams basically told me I am like the average 45 year old...where the fight of the bulge suddenly becomes VERY hard. And I just thought it was because I was a rebel. Don't get me wrong...I didn't get this big by exercise and eating right....It was exactly the opposite, I will never deny that. I hate love it how extremely overweight people say, "I just don't know how I got this way...all I eat is salad and do cardio and weights 4 hours a day..." Yeah RIGHT!?!?

My friend has a great blog...and I hope she doesn't mind that I refer you to it....she is in an awesome weight loss journey. She too is working her ass off (excuse my swearing!) And I loved her last post:

http://ijusatemywillpower.blogspot.com/

She is SO right....if being skinny were easy, then everyone would do it. The people who look great...look great because they work hard. So I will try really hard to stop being a skinny people hater...and instead find motivation that if they can do it...I can do it..and I WILL do it!

So...here are a few other pinterest quotes that I had found encouraging...:

This is true in SO many ways in my life...but in the health/weight loss aspect....you get my drift

I think my desire is finally at the point that change is inevitable!

Did I ever mention that patience is NOT my best quality!!

 And finally....I found this. I think that this has some great tips! (Even if the spelling was a bit off....-it was probably written by a skinny person that was spending much more time exercising than spell checking....Just Kidding-that was rude ;)

So there you have it...I have said it once...or twice...or WAY more times on my blog in the past, but I truly hope that you see Less..and Less...of the fat me....and much more of the healthy, fit girl that I know is hiding inside of me!