Well, I need a little advice. Hallie has a bully bothering her at school. I have hesitated to even make anything of it, but I have had enough. I am not going to say her name, but she has bothered Hallie since Kindergarten. She is in our neighborhood, they go to church together, ride the bus together, and go to school together. She is non stop on Hallie's back and I have had it.
In Kindergarten, Hallie would come home and say, "_____was so mean to me today, she wouldnt let me in her club." I would just brush it off and tell her to make other friends, etc. She is the same way with her at church, always excluding Hallie and it makes her feel so bad. Well, what finally got me really really mad was an event last Friday. The kids had written letters to Santa, and then they had received letters back from him. Hallie came home very sad and said, "______took my paper and told me she was ripping it in a million pieces because I don't deserve Christmas." Then Hallie sat there a minute later and said, "mommy, she said something worse- ______took me aside and said, Hallie-I hope you know that you are SO UGLY." Hallie turned to me with big tears in her eyes and asked, "mommy, am I ugly?" I of course replied NO WAY, you are beautiful inside and out, which is so true. She has never went out of her way to be mean or hurt anyones feelings that I know of.
I have taught my kids to turn the other cheek. I have told them that other kids mommies and daddies don't teach them to say nice things to their classmates and friends. I have taught them to not fight back. Now, I am trying to decide if that was such a good idea. I am so fed up with this little girl for so many reasons. #1-She makes Hallie not want to go to school. I have heard Hallie pray at night that ______ will be nice to her at school the next day. #2 She doesn't want to go to church because of her. #3 They are 7 YEARS OLD. That is WAY too early for Hallie to have a negative opinion of herself, and it infuriates me that she actually believed this little girl when she said she didn't deserve Christmas and that she was ugly.
Hallie is not the only one being bothered. I have had several other mothers call and ask me if we were having trouble with this little girl too. She told one little girl that if she didn't bring her one of her toys the next day, she was going to come to her house and kill her horse. I just feel that I am in a hard place. I don't feel comfortable going to her mom to tell her about it, because the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree if you know what I mean, so I wouldn't get anywhere doing that. I have thought about calling the principle at her school, and talking to her primary teacher, but I don't know. I just don't want to be a tattletale, or one of those annoying mothers who fight their children's battles.
So, I need to know what you would all do, and what you think. I won't even care if you tell me I am over-reacting. I just need advice. Have a good day!
7 comments:
Ok I cried and Now I am just pissed. This is not ok and I know that I am talking to you on messenger and I already told you what I thought but CALL THE PRINCIPAL. I love Hallie so much, like she is my own and She is one of Taylor's closest friends and This just is not ok. I am so sorry.
I am in total shock! How can someone treat others like that? I definitely don't think you are overreacting. This other little girl is probably jealous of Hallie or has her own insecurities, and the only way she knows how to handle it is to be mean and try to tear others down. I agree – if you went to the mom she would probably just get defensive about it and then it would just be even more awkward. I also agree that you need to let your kids fight their own battles, but there comes a point when you need to get involved. I think Janice has good advice – to go to the principle. I’m sure he/she has dealt with stuff like this before and may have some good advice and maybe even a solution to the problem. Good luck!
Kandice I am so sorry, what a little brat, I hate that there are kids like that, It makes me not want Seneca to grow up. As for advice, I myself would like to spack the little girl, ok that wasn't nice sorry. I honestly don't know what to do in that situation, please let me know what you decide to do, so I can make a mental not for the future. Sorry, have a better day.
I think your doing agreat job of reassuring her and building up her confidence! This whole thing makes me so sad and I honestly don't know what to tell you to help except your already doing a great job. Hallie is a wonderful person and this will only make her stronger.
Okay, Kandice. YOU ARE TOO NICE. You know that. (:
I think that if I were in your position, I would first call the mom. I know that both you and I are the WORST at confrontation, but in this case, I think it's necessary. This little girl needs to be taught NOW that her behavior is not acceptable; otherwise it will continue. If my daughter were being a bully, I would want the other moms to tell me before going to the principal. Now, it sounds like this mom might not care or do anything about it...so THEN I would go to the principal. I would even get the other moms who are having problems to go in with you.
I know you, and I know you don't want to make this mom mad, and I know you don't want to make things weird for you at church with her. But...bullying is a serious thing that should be addressed. Maybe I'm just going off on this because I just finished reading a book called "Bullycide" about several kids who committed suicide because they were being bullied. I'm not saying that this situation is THAT bad yet, but you just never know how bad she could get if nobody does anything about it.
Hallie is GORGEOUS, and I hope that she can realize that and not feel bad because of some stupid, bratty girl.
If you really can't bring yourself to talk to the mom (and I wouldn't blame you..I'd be scared, too!), call the principal. At least do something. You are not overreacting at all.
Okay, sorry for the novel. Good luck, and I hope things work out!
Okay this may sound weird, but I really feel it fits and you'll have to let me know what you think. Who new I could tell you about a cartoon, that I really think is a great Idea. Its the cartoon Little Bill, well in one show, little Bill was being Bullied by this kid and he didn't know what to do, he would always come home sad. He kept asking his family what to do and they would always tell him something, but then his dad told him something that was great. He said little Bill, do you believe what he says, and little bill, said no. So the dad said, then sooooooooo does it matter?? and little bill said no. The dad went on and he told little bill that if the bully kept saying stuff and little bill didn't like it just say "SO" and thats it. So little bill did that. the bully kept going off on the friends and then on little bill. Little Bill said "SO" and the bully didn't know what to do, so he insulted him again and little bill said "SO" and so the bully did it again and L. B. said "SO" and finally the bully got so mad that nothing could bother little bill anymore that he left him a lone. I try to teach Kaelyn that but so far no one bullies her. But I really think it is a good idea. As long as Hallie knows what she is saying isn't true, THEN IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! Make sure Hallie nows how beautiful she is and that some times people say mean things, and we don't know why they do it, but we need to make sure we don't say mean things back so just say, "SO"!! If you have any questions call 435-656-0769. See ya, and good luck. let us know how it goes!!! But telling the mom, I promise doesn't do any good, unless you know this mom takes critism good, trust me!!! It just makes a bigger mess. and telling the primary teacher will spread gossip believe it or not, but telling the principle may be good!!! Especially if its happening to alot of kids and the girl is saying she's going to kill something. Let him be the one to call the mom, not you!!
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