Phew...can life go on now?

Wow----Did I just survive that? This is a text only post...there was no time for pictures the past couple weeks!

Moving was in itself much more involved and awful than I thought. To be honest---after we move in our next house I NEVER want to do it again. The packing was so intense...for an OCD perfectionist like me. I didn't want to haul trash from house to house. I had to make piles of trash, yard sale, storage, and for our temporary home. I would pack...Kayler would help unpack....it was just not pleasant. Then I would have to wait until G.J. came home at the end of the day because I was too tired and wimpy to load the boxes into our moving trailer.

We had countless trips to the storage unit, our temporary home, etc...etc...I kind of look back and it was all a blur. We had lots of offers for help, but packing is such a personal thing-so I couldn't have help with that. I took my time room by room, so having help packing the boxes out of the house wasn't really an option because I didn't want to make anyone wait around all day while I packed. So we did have a little help from family, friends, and neighbors, but for the vast majority, we did it all alone.

Monday we moved the last of it out. We got here in the evening...and tried to get settled to the point that we could sleep. Poor sweet Kayler was so excited...until we said prayers and he realized he was staying here. He just replied with tears in his eyes, “I just want to go home....” Meaning our old house. Thank goodness he has adapted well now!

Tuesday I had help from my friends Candace and Karlee cleaning my old house to get it ready for the final walk through for the buyers Wednesday. I really appreciated their help, and we got it done in no time! Wednesday I met with the buyers to go through some things about the house. I had also been trying with all my might to get this place settled, and it was NOT happening. I was so frustrated. I was SO glad when Wednesday night Karlee came over and got all the kids books and games organized in our cool book case.

It was just the push I needed, and Thursday I worked like a mad woman, and by night time I had this whole home...inside and out perfectly organized and put together....even pictures on the wall. I am not in no way bragging or tooting my own horn, but for a person with OCD perfection on having things in place...this was a MUST...and it felt so good....so so good to have my life settled. We also signed the closing documents on our house. I am so grateful that this process went smoothly-because in a situation where so many things can go wrong...we were really lucky.

Today I did laundry, paid bills, and cleaned up this place a little from the moving boxes that had been in and out. I felt such at peace and so happy with our new life.......and then----

No, nothing horrible happened. I was just left alone with my thoughts. G.J. took all 3 kids to the Ranch for a sleepover. I am heading there in the morning after I finish some projects I had wanted to do. I was so ready for a break from my kids...until they were gone and then I miss them and my heart aches for them.

I have been sitting here letting so many what ifs and fears settle in. I looked around at my beautiful new home...with everything in its place, and had the overwhelming fear that something bad is about to happen. I sound so pessimistic saying that, but it seems in the past that every time I have things going just the way I want---something horrible happens. It is like the lord lets me have a moment of peace, and then presents a trial so I can grow and learn-and I am just not ready for that.

I also let myself start worrying about the future-mainly the building process...there is SO much involved. SO much that I just don't have the mental capacity to start worrying just yet. I also have so many worries about my personal life with family, friends, finances, my kids, church, etc.etc.etc. I just really should not let myself get bored or left alone with my thoughts I have decided! The chaos of packing and moving kept my mind from wandering to these fears.

Nonetheless, we are blessed beyond belief. I look back in awe of the wonderful things that have transpired to allow all of this to happen. I know it is for a reason.

I hope to be a regular time blogger now...and look forward to sharing all the summer time fun I hope to have with my family and friends!