Complete gratitude in the little things...

The above picture taken during bath time this past week is something I have been waiting for over 3 years for-For my boys to be friends. Sounds like a simple enough thing….but when you have a child that has special needs and hardly allows anyone into his little world/bubble…things like this take time. There have been even more instances just within this past week of my boys cuddling, playing, wrestling, and just being kids-normal kids.

That leads me to something else that has been many years in the making:



Going out to dinner is a rare treat for our family. Not only do we not have the money to do so often, but taking an autistic child into public is 99% of the time much harder than it is worth. We had the perfect night tonight at Pizza Hut, followed by a trip to get gas, the car wash, the Rec. center, and to get an ice cream. Let me add there were NO melt downs of any kind. He stayed by us pretty good, and you could tell he was actually enjoying his time out of the house. Yet again…nothing out of the ordinary for a normal family, but for me, this was monumental, and let me back track how the latest things have suddenly evolved.

A few weeks ago, I really started noticing a LOT more talking from Kayler. His fits became less frequent and severe. He started sitting for much longer periods of time. I will not say that every day was perfect…he has had several very bad days the past few weeks. But, slowly and surely, his good days started to outnumber his bad, and I was not the only one noticing.

My dad, who is one of the most loving kind people I know, has also been the biggest skeptic when it came to “curing” Kayler of his Autism. He had a master plan that he when he retired he would teach Kayler how to Weld or some other skill because he just “knew” Kayler could not make it in the real world. My dad told me to not get my hopes too high because he knew Kayler was different beyond repair.

It was Super Bowl Sunday and we were just relaxing at my parents’ house. My mom, G.J., and the other kids were out of the room at the time, and it was just my dad and I, and Kayler. Kayler was being cute playing with us, commenting on the T.V., and just playing. All of the sudden I look over to see my dad just crying... or more like sobbing. The only words he could get out were, “He is going to be O.K., I know that now…”

I have known he would be just fine all along….but my faith has been tried and tested a zillion times. I have laid awake countless nights worrying about his future. I have worked tirelessly doing therapy at home, sending him to school, and praying my heart out that he will be O.K. I obviously knew that starting out Kayler was not near as severe as most autistic children. With his diagnosis being Asperger’s, which is high on the spectrum to begin with, I knew our chances of helping him achieve happiness and “normalcy” were high.

So, although my expectations are realistic and I know that there are still many many major hurdles to cross, we are making headway. We are fighting and winning. My goal is to send him to Kindergarten and for nobody to question that he ever had such struggles as he has. He is so precious to me. I love and appreciate the things he does and says a lot more than I did with my other kids at that age. I am making up for lost time by in turn being grateful for Hallie and Gavin now…and for the strengths they DO have. Kayler has brought out the worst in me, all the while bringing out the best.

So here’s to more family dinners at restaurants, more trips to public, and to one precious baby boy.

p.s. I do have an update on Gavin’s CT Scan and our trip to SL this past week…but I am waiting on one more phone call from the Dr. to confirm some details…so sit tight.